


Was the sky always this beautiful?

by Majsasaurus



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Coming to terms with one's own sexuality, Falling In Love, First Time, Flirting, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27434542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Majsasaurus/pseuds/Majsasaurus
Summary: Shikadai looked forward a summer without plans, a summer consisting of gaming until late and sleeping until noon.All his plans crumble when he by an accident meets a blond boy with a rude mouth.The summer turns magical.
Relationships: Nara Shikadai/Yamanaka Inojin
Comments: 53
Kudos: 80





	1. A boy by the sea

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally back with more Shikajin-content. Enjoy ❤

University could be quite the drag, Shikadai learned, after having pushed through ten courses in the field he had chosen after graduating upper secondary school: International Relations. Who in their sane mind choose International Relations? Well, apparently, Shikadai himself, thinking that a degree in that field would be a golden ticket to a nice job in the future.

After having to not work for a day in upper secondary school, as the good grades just dropped without him having to study for them – the leap to the final stage of education in university had been a tough one.

Now Shikadai had to push through endless PowerPoints of statistics, thick books of business and sociology, the field he chose as his minor, and never-ending papers and rapports. And he had to memorise this as well for the exams. What a drag.

The first year of university had been a year of excess alcohol consumption, sleepless nights and sitting in lectures. Now, that May was ending and the final exams were over, Shikadai had packed his enormous bag in his tiny apartment, done his bed, vacuumed one last time, emptied the fridge, and hopped on the train back to his hometown.

His parents had asked him to come home for the summer, since the weekends he came home during the school year had been few.

Shikadai was actually satisfied with the decision to come home for the summer. Not having to take care of groceries and meal plan (and failing to do so properly), eating good food again at his parents’ home sounded nice. Getting to just do nothing for a whole summer sounded like a dream.

Well. It was mostly a dream.

“I can’t believe you didn’t apply for summer jobs”, his mother, Temari, sighed by the dinner table the same day he had arrived in his hometown. The food had already been placed on the table when he came home after Shikamaru, his father, had fetched him from the train station.

“Give me some slack!” Shikadai pouted. “I have worked my ass off in school this year.”

“Did you pass all your courses?” Temari asked.

“Yes, I sent you a photo of my grades and all”, Shikadai muttered. “I passed them all. But it wasn’t easy at all, and that is why I purposely didn’t look for a summer job. I want to sleep for once.”

“If you didn’t party so much you would have time to sleep”, Temari said.

“I did not come home just to hear your nagging”, Shikadai said. “Can’t we just eat in peace? Dad?”

He looked over to Shikamaru, who was sitting with them by the table. As Shikadai had grown up, Shikamaru had seen at all Shikadai’s mistakes between his fingers and gone easy on him in his parenting. Temari was another story.

“You sent us a picture of your grades”, Shikamaru said, as if that brought something new to the discussion. “They were pretty good.” He finished chewing. “I think it’s okay that you’re not working this summer. But sooner or later you have to take the leap and get a foot into the adult world. We can’t keep serving you all your life.”

Shikadai groaned and stuffed a broccoli inside his mouth.

“I worked every summer as I was studying”, Temari said.

Yes, Shikadai knew. Temari had also studied International Relations and found a very good job immediately after graduating. Shikadai could already _hear_ everyone’s thoughts, how he ‘would follow his mother’s footsteps immediately after graduating’. He didn’t like hearing that, didn’t like being compared to his mother all the time.

“I know”, he said. “Ugh, you are both such a drag.”

“Please, do not sneer to us”, Shikamaru said. He might be a chill dad, but it didn’t really sit right with him to have Shikadai complain the first thing he did when he came home after having moved away from home a year ago.

“Sorry”, Shikadai said.

“Is everything alright?” Shikamaru asked. “Is there anything – “

“I’m just tired”, Shikadai interrupted him. “The final exam almost killed me. I just want to live a little now during the summer. No nagging at me.”

Temari just nodded to acknowledge that she understood what Shikadai was getting at, but her pride stopped her from apologizing for falling into old loops of parenting Shikadai in a way that was maybe more beneficial when he had been younger than now.

The dinner continued without unnecessary questioning about Shikadai’s life choices and he proceeded to tell them in more detail about how his exams had gone.

At some point after the dinner someone sent a message to Shikadai’s phone. He hauled it out of his pocket and read the message Boruto had sent him.

Boruto had not applied to the same university as Shikadai, who had been accepted into a fancy university in another town. He had remained in their hometown and studied at their local university, like the majority of Shikadai’s friends. Only he had been ambitious enough and had had grades good enough to get into the other university.

Sometimes he wondered if he really was chasing his own dream, or he just followed the expectations his friends and family had in him. What if he chased his mother’s dream, to be working with international politics, more than he did what he liked himself?

Or, maybe he was just so tired after finally receiving his summer break?

_Wanna go out for a drink?_

That was the message Boruto had sent Shikadai. He had probably waited for quite some time for Shikadai already. They had met through-out the year as well at chosen weekends, but this would be the first time they can chill all night long and not have to think about some troublesome train-ride the day after.

_Yeah, tonight at 21?_

_21 sounds good. See you then!_

“I’ll go out with Boruto tonight at nine”, Shikadai told his parents. “For a beer or two.”

“Your grandparents are coming tomorrow at two, so you better not have a hangover”, Shikamaru said.

“Dad, I will not get a hangover from one beer”, Shikadai muttered. “Ugh, will grandma and grandpa come as well?”

“She hasn’t seen you for so long, of course she wants to ” Shikamaru said, and his tone told Shikadai it was futile to talk back. Whether he liked it or not, he would have to be present by the table at two tomorrow and smile and nod while drinking coffee with his grandparents.

“Fine”, Shikadai said and stood up to retreat to his room. Maybe he can get a nap before he would meet his old friends.

“And just because you are old enough to drink, you don’t have to drink every weekend”, Temari muttered.

“Yes, mum!” Shikadai snarled and managed to dodge the instinct to slam his bedroom door like a pubertal teenager. He was nineteen years old, after all. He didn’t have to behave like a child. He stopped the door the final second before it would slam. He was an adult now and that meant he could take care of himself. Maybe the idea to move back home for the summer would prove to be a bad one.

Later, after brushing his hair and bringing it up in a ponytail on his head, he walked out of the house.

“Bye! I won’t wake you up when I come back”, Shikadai yelled to his parents before shutting the door. He anticipated to come back after his parents had gone to sleep. There was a lot to catch up with when it came to Boruto. Boruto had gotten a girlfriend after all and she would also join this drinking night. Mitsuki would also be there, the guy who had hung after Boruto a lot as they had been younger and nowadays was a decent guy.

It felt amazing to reconnect with old friends again.

When Shikadai turned around the corner to the bar they were supposed to meet he could only groan when he spotted the girl holding hands with Boruto.

Sarada.

So, Boruto had hooked up with her after three years of dancing around each other? How typical.

“Hey, guys”, Shikadai said with a bright smile on his face at the sight of Boruto, Mitsuki and Sarada.

“Eyy, Shikadai!” Boruto yelled back and raised his free hand so Shikadai could high five it. That was one of their greetings they had done ever since they were kids.

After attending different universities, it was the first time Boruto and Shikadai hadn’t attended the same school. Ever since day-care they had been in the same class, done that same high five since the dawn of time. It had been weeks since the last time. They had met the final weekend in March, and that was already quite a long time ago.

“So…” Shikadai said and pointed finger guns at Boruto and Sarada. “You two got together. Since when?”

“Since two days ago”, Sarada said.

“Oh, that’s not long”, Shikadai said, pointing out the obvious in the lack of having something better to say. “Well, let’s get inside.”

The one beer turned out to be way more than one. They had so much to talk about, and to remember from past years and mistakes they’ve done, and what life in the university town Shikadai was living in was like and if Shikadai had found any girls to hook up yet.

“But what about that Yodo girl you went on dates with?” Sarada asked. She had of course been up to date with Shikadai life in his university town, since she was also his friend. Not that Shikadai updated much straight to her, but she followed him on both Instagram and Snapchat and she was a genius when it came to stalking and piecing together scattered online information. She probably knew every detail about Shikadai’s life just from following him online.

“Ah, well, I ended it”, Shikadai said and short after emptied his pint. “She was not my type. And no, she was never my girlfriend, if that is what you were going to ask. She was just someone who I met a few times.”

“Oh”, Sarada said. “Well. Hopefully you didn’t break her heart.”

Shikadai snorted.

“Don’t worry”, he said, almost snapping at her. Talking about his failed dates with Yodo did not belong to his favourite subjects, not after he once had over a phone call told his parents he was going to meet a girl, and they had believed Shikadai had a girlfriend. It had annoyed him to have to explain he ended the dating and that he never was interested in her.

It had been true. He had never been interested in Yodo, and the reason he ever agreed to take her out was because he felt pressed to date someone when everyone did it in his class. He met her three times at different cafés and after that he decided that this has to end before Yodo got weird ideas that they would kiss or something like that. The fact that he had done that because of external pressure had, in hindsight, annoyed him greatly.

The evening continued without touching sensitive matters such as Shikadai’s love life and the beers slowly got switched into Fireball shots. It was summer after all and the tedious school year had ended, now they were going to celebrate that they were being reunited again.

Their hometown was by the sea, and sooner or later, after many beer and Fireball Shots, and one or two Blueberry Shots – vodka, blueberry juice and whipped cream to reminisce their younger years, because those were the shots they liked to take when they first got into bars – they found themselves walking down to the beach a bit out of the centre of their torn.

Or ‘beach’.

If one by the word ‘beach’ imagined white sand and turquoise water, they were wrong. This beach was ugly as dirt, because it consisted of rough sand, seaweed that had been washed ashore and dark grey water. Nothing in the appearance of this beach was inviting, and everyone knew that at the beginning of June the water was still freezing. Especially in the middle of the night.

Time had flown and after the drinks and shots, when they walked outside, the streets were empty and the population had gone to sleep. Not this quartet though. They were still drunk and had more mischief to do before they were satisfied.

The company of four; Shikadai, Boruto, Sarada and Mitsuki, walked to the beach to inhale the night air and yell over the water to hear their voices echo all over to the small islands outside.

The drunken haze turned into hunger, ravaging hunger after having filled their bellies with empty calories from beer and Blueberry shots.

“I want a hamburger”, Boruto whined when the emptiness of their stomachs became too difficult to ignore. “I’m starving, I’m hungryyyy.”

“I don’t want to walk back into town”, Shikadai muttered, showing his hands deep into his pockets. The closest restaurant that was open at this late hour – or early morning, since it was past two in the middle of the night already, was on the other side of the town. Shikadai began feeling tired and he could feel the crankiness creeping in.

If he didn’t get sleep or food, he was going to be quiet and angry. He knew this. He had been drunk that many times during his first year as a university student, that he knew how his body reacted.

“There is a little grill down the other side of the bridge from here”, Sarada said. “They close soon, at three, so we need to get there soon if we want burgers.”

“Do they have burgers?” Boruto howled.

“I just said it”, Sarada said. “And sausage and all that kind of fat stuff.”

“I love fat stuff!” Boruto said.

“Hamburgers sound good”, Shikadai said. “Let’s get there quickly. I am starving.”

They walked by the beach, over the bridge, to a little forsaken parking lot. And there, by the side of the parking lot, there was a little wooden food stall. The lights inside were on, telling the company that this little grill hadn’t shut the doors yet for the night.

 _Poor person, having to work these late nights serving drunk people food_ , Shikadai thought as they closed in, walking up to the window.

“Ey!” Boruto said and leaned against the window. “Do you sell hamburgers here?”

On the other side of the window, there was a blond young man. He did not seem the slightest interested in costumers, as his blue eyes flickered across the company outside his selling window.

“Can you read?” the seller asked and Boruto blinked a few times.

“Huh?”

“Can you read?” the boy behind the counter asked again.

“Um, of course”, Boruto said.

“Then you know we sell hamburgers, it literally says so above me”, the boy said and pointed upwards, towards the neon lights spelling ‘Hamburgers’. “Which one do you want?”

“I’ll take the cheeseburger”, Sarada said, pushing Boruto to the side. Better not agitate this seller, he seemed to be in a foul mood already. “And love, what do you want?”

“The hamburger with sausage in it”, Boruto said.

“Really? The one with sausage?” Sarada said.

“Beef _and_ sausage”, Boruto said.

“It costs extra if you take both”, the seller said with a stone face. Shikadai had to swallow a grunt. Is it too much to ask of this seller to at least act nice? Does he have to be sarcastic all the time?

“Both”, Boruto said, not thinking straight through the effects of alcohol in his mind. He slammed his visa card on the counter. “I’ll pay.”

The seller rolled his eyes and turned to Shikadai. His pale blue eyes were striking.

“And you?”

“I’ll take fries”, Shikadai said. “All sauces.”

The seller nodded and finally took Mitsuki’s order.

“So, who will pay?” he asked. When no one answered he rolled his eyes even harder. “Okay, then, will you all pay your own parts? Ugh. Okay. You who wanted the cheeseburger. Here.”

He reached the card machine towards Sarada, who put her visa card against it. After the assuring _beep_ telling them her transaction was complete, the seller took the receipt and threw it in a trashcan on his side of the window. Sarada raised her eyebrows at the rude gesture.

“No one wants receipts anymore”, the seller said. “I figured I could save you from the trouble of telling me you don’t want it.”

Sarada just snorted to him.

“He better makes good food. We are so not coming back to this place again”, she whispered to Shikadai while Boruto was paying. It was painful to watch him trying to get his visa card to find the chip reading his card to fulfil the transaction. He was simply too drunk.

“Thank you”, the seller said, but he sounded sarcastic and annoyed, like he was happy this drunk costumer finally managed to pay. He ripped the receipt out of the machine and threw it away.

Shikadai got up to the counter, already feeling pissed of by this boy’s rude behaviour. He regretted not taking one for the team and pay for all of them, shortening this train wreck of a visit to this fast-food grill stall. The fries better be good.

“Three forty for the fries”, the boy said and reached the card machine to Shikadai.

“Actually…” Shikadai said. “I’m paying with cash.”

This made the boy quirk his eyebrows up.

“Interesting”, he just said and reached his hand forward, anticipating money. Shikadai slammed a five-euro bill in the seller’s hand.

“Keep the change”, Shikadai said lazily. “All sauces on my fries.”

“You said that already, I’m not an idiot”, came the reply and Shikadai couldn’t believe his ears. There he was, giving free money to this idiot of a cashier and got nothing but rudeness back.

“What is your problem?” slipped out of Shikadai.

The seller must had realised he stepped over some line and just shut his mouth tightly. Shikadai could see how his jaw tensed and how he swallowed.

“All sauces coming”, the seller just said, and now he sounded tired. Really tired. “Okay, final payment before I begin making the food.”

Mitsuki stepped forward and paid, and the second the seller had thrown away his receipt, he turned his back towards the grill and began making their food.

It took a few minutes, but this was a fast-food place after all, and very soon they got steaming hot burgers and fries in their hands.

That was when things began going downhill.

Boruto was still so drunk from all his shots and beers he had forgotten what he had ordered and when the big, fatty burger with both a sausage and beef inside was delivered to him he stared at the monstrosity.

“What is this?” he asked and pointed at the sausage above the beef.

“Sausage”, Sarada said through a mouthful of cheeseburger.

“I didn’t want a sausage!”

And so Boruto stormed up to the counter. It was now three o’clock in the middle of the night and the boy working had just closed the window. The grill was closing now. They had been the final costumers for the night.

The boy turned around with a cloth in his hands, ready to begin cleaning the working area. He raised his eyebrow but made no effort to walk up to the window to open it.

“Hey, I didn’t order a sausage in my burger”, Boruto continued whining. “Make me a new one.”

“Shh, don’t make a scene now”, Shikadai hissed to Boruto, mouth filled with fries. “Just eat your damn food, it’s delicious either way.”

“But I don’t _want_ a sausage!”

This was the final reminder to Shikadai that partying with Boruto could be a drag – nay, a pure pain in the ass. Dealing with a drunk Boruto is a job one could demand pay for, and right now, Boruto was incredibly difficult to deal with.

The boy on the other side of the window just stared back at him with slight disgust on his face.

“Then throw it away”, he said. “It’s not my problem.”

“I want a new one!”

“We are closed now”, the boy said.

“Hey, Boruto, calm down now”, Shikadai said and grabbed Boruto by his arm, but Boruto was having none of ‘calming down’, when his drunken self thought it was the end of the world if he didn’t get the right hamburger. He whipped his arm free and _slammed_ it at the closed window. The boy on the other side flinched back at the sudden violence.

“Get the fuck out of here”, the boy yelled. “I made you what you wanted and you paid for it and I will not make you a new one just because you are too drunk to even know what you want to eat.”

Mitsuki came to aid Shikadai in their quest to keep Boruto calm in front of the window.

“Stupid retail worker”, Boruto snarled as he took a bite of his perfectly good hamburger. He lifted his head and stared at the boy, who had cont inued his cleaning. “You know, you are all such losers! You just work at a shitty place with shitty pay because you don’t get into school and you will never –“

“Okay, that’s it, shut your mouth!” Shikadai almost yelled in Boruto’s face and he manhandled him away from the food stall. “You just don’t say that to people!” He threw one final look over his shoulder at the blond boy on the other side of the counter and was received a raised middle finger as a goodbye.

Shikadai forced Boruto onto the shore where there were a few benches, and the quartet finished their night snack in silence. How embarrassingly this night had ended.

“He won’t probably remember this in the morning”, Sarada said, eyeing Boruto. She wasn’t happy at all by Boruto’s behaviour.

“Someone should check out that guy who worked there”, Shikadai mumbled. “It was pretty offensive, the thing Boruto said.”

Sarada peeked up at the food stall.

“He is now shutting the lights”, she said. “He is probably going home.”

Shikadai sat up with a grunt.

“Ugh”, he said. “I’ll go and apologize.”

“Though he was pretty rude to us”, Sarada said.

“Boruto told him he was a looser and whatnot”, Shikadai said, not taking Sarada’s part. “Whatever. I’ll go up to him.”

His bravery shrivelled up quickly as he walked closer to the blond boy. He had had a pretty rude mouth after all, and Shikadai mentally prepared himself to be yelled at for being a stupid costumer who came right before closing time with an idiot to friend. Maybe he should just turn around and not open a discussion with this person.

The seller had stopped and just regarded Shikadai for a moment.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Look”, Shikadai said. “I’m sorry for whatever my friend said to you – he was drunk, I mean, we’re all kind of drunk…”

“Yeah, I noticed”, the boy said. “Whatever, go away. I’m going home now.”

Shikadai should have let the boy go. He had probably had a rough night, and a long day of work and was finally heading home to his bed. But something inside Shikadai wanted to talk for a second longer with him.

“Um, I’m sorry – “ he croaked out again and the boy wrinkled his forehead, staring with a puzzled gaze at Shikadai. “But, um, you were kind of rude to us too.”

The boy let out a mocking chuckle.

“Yes”, he said, letting his gaze quickly run up and down at Shikadai, assessing him. “I work nights and serve drunk idiots fast-food. At some point… I don’t know, I just snap, because I am so _tired._ ” He sighed. “Okay, ugh, sorry for being rude to you.”

He looked up at the moon above them.

“I should go home now”, he said.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Shikadai blurted out and the boy’s eyes widened in confusion. “Like, um, you had a long night and my friend was incredibly rude to you and – “

“Well, you could buy me a coffee”, the boy interrupted Shikadai and Shikadai closed his mouth with an audible click, startled at being interrupted.

“Nothing is open right now”, was the only thing he got out. _Coffee? Right now?_

“I know nothing is open”, the boy said. “But tomorrow?”

“Um yeah”, Shikadai said and scratched the back of his head. “You want a coffee? Um, what about Espresso House?”

“Sounds good”, the boy said. “The Espresso House by the park? At two o’clock?”

“Why so early?” Shikadai asked. Two o’clock the following day is in eleven hours. He wouldn’t have time to sleep long and game lazily in his bed – which were his plans, if he had to be in town at said café at two.

“I have a show later”, the boy just said. “Two o’clock, or nothing.”

“Okay, two o’clock sounds good”, Shikadai said.

“Perfect”, the boy said, and yawned. “Okay, I’m heading home now. See you tomorrow.” He turned around and before walking away he twisted his head and shot a smile to Shikadai. “And by the way, my name is Inojin.”

Shikadai just stared at him as he walked away.

He looked down at Inojin’s backpack, which was filled with badges and pins. Most of the badges were of bands the boy was probably listening to, like Avenge Sevenfold. There was also a homemade badge that caught Shikadai’s eyes.

A badge with a hashtag on it.

_#jinart_

Inojin disappeared between the closest houses and Shikadai remained staring as a fool.

“Shikadai!” Sarada yelled. “Let’s go home. I’m freezing.”

The nights in the beginning in June weren’t too warm yet.

“Did you apologise to the boy?” Sarada asked when they were walking along the houses towards the area they were living in.

“Yeah”, Shikadai said. “It’s all okay.”

“Okay, good”, Sarada said.

When Shikadai got home, something bubbled in his stomach and he felt almost nervous for the day to come, for meeting that blond boy again. It had been a stupid idea to just blurt out ‘can I do something for you’, ugh, Shikadai wanted to sink through the floor when thinking about it.

And Inojin had wanted coffee and Shikadai had agreed to meet him again and buy him coffee like this was some kind of _date!_ It wasn’t.

But when Shikadai tried to fall asleep, all he could think of was that boy he had just met in a drunken haze.

Inojin.


	2. A boy by the coffee shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: implied self-harm
> 
> (this is Majsasaurus writing, I can't keep myself off _some_ dark themes hehe)

Shikadai woke up at the sound of someone vacuum cleaning right outside his room. Great. This is why one should move away from home and stay away so they can be blessed by the silence of no parents vacuuming this early on a Sunday.

He twisted in his bed, feeling how dry his mouth was from the night drinking. He sat up and his head felt thick, but there was no pulsating headache. That was a relief, and being a little less grumpy, he stood up to walk to the kitchen in the search for ice cold tap water.

“Why are you vacuuming this godforsaken early?” Shikadai muttered to his parents as a good morning.

“Because grandma and granddad are coming over in two hours”, Shikamaru said. “We got cinnamon buns in the oven and – “

“Are they coming in _two_ hours?” Shikadai asked. “What time is it?”

“Twelve”, Temari said from the kitchen, drying coffee cups with a kitchen towel. “You got home late, it seems. I wanted to wake you up hours ago, but you dad here told me to let you sleep.”

“Thank you, dad!” Shikadai yelled over the sound of the damn vacuum cleaner and proceeded to the kitchen to find some breakfast. He quickly prepared some bread for himself to devour when he glanced over to the clock on the wall.

12.10

Suddenly, a cold realisation hit him. He had promised to meet that boy from the fast-food grill at two today at Espresso House! Exactly the same time as Yoshino and Shikaku, his grandparents were coming over to them.

Shikadai stared down at his bread, trying to decide which of his bad options were the better one. Would he just tell his parents he can’t be home when his grandparents come because he has to pay for a coffee for a boy he had met for half an hellish hour in the middle of the night, or would he just not show up when Inojin would stand outside the café, waiting for him?

Shikadai whipped his phone up on the table, staring blankly at the screen. He didn’t have this Inojin boy’s number or the name of his social medias. He had no way of contacting Inojin to ask him to postpone the café thingy meeting to later.

Then he remembered that Inojin had some kind of show during the evening and couldn’t make it later. So, if he didn’t disobey his parents and run away to meet this random boy to buy him his cursed coffee, Inojin would be stood up on. And somehow, it pinched in Shikadai’s stomach when thinking about what it would tell about him to that boy. First, he promised to make it up to him and then never show up.

He muttered to himself while weighting his options. How would he be able to contact Inojin?

Then he remembered that one badge Inojin had sown on his backpack with the hashtag #jinart. It was maybe a long shot, but Shikadai felt desperate.

He opened Instagram on his phone and searched for the hashtag #jinart in the search bar. To his delight, the hashtag existed. He clicked on it and a library of pictures came up. Most of the pictures where photos of acrylic artworks, some were photography of raindrops and flowers. Then rest were portraits of a person. Shikadai recognised immediately the blond boy in the portraits.

Inojin.

For a second he just studied the portraits of Inojin, the poses he was in and the clothes he was wearing in the pictures.

_This guy has to be gay,_ Shikadai found himself thinking when scrolling through the portraits. And then, only then, when he had seen a good bunch of the art that was in the hashtag #jinart, he clicked up the user.

Oh, typical, the username was inojinart. He could have guessed it. So, Inojin used Instagram mainly to post his own art pieces and self-portraits? _How often does he check the app?_ Shikadai was musing as he pressed the direct message button.

His thumbs were hovering a bit over the screen while he wondered what the hell he was going to write to Inojin, before deciding.

_Hey, it’s the guy who apologised for his drunk friend yesterday. We talked about meeting today at 14 at Espresso House. I had forgotten we get guests at 14, so is it okay if I buy you a coffee some other day?_

Shikadai’s heart was beating in his chest when he pressed send, put his phone on silent so he wouldn’t hear the buzzing sound of a reply and put the phone back into his pocket. He continued eating his bread, lazily leafing through the daily news paper on the table. He, very purposely, didn’t check his phone as he was eating, and when he was finished, he fished the phone out of his pocket, only to stare at the screen.

There was already a reply.

He unlocked his phone fast as lightning, heart pounding as he read the message.

_Is 13 okay for you?_

Thirteen? One o’clock? Shikadai stared at the time on his phone. It was 12.23.

Did Inojin seriously ask to meet him in less than forty minutes? Shikadai had to decide quick. Walking over to said café took him fifteen minutes and he was still in his sleeping shorts, half-naked. He almost shotted the final gulps of coffee he had in his mug and wrote a reply.

_Yeah. See you then @ Espresso House_

Shikadai smiled at his phone and dashed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. With the toothbrush still in his mouth, he quickly folded his hair into a messy bun on top of his head.

As if Temari could read minds, she was suddenly standing outside his room when he just had put on clothes.

“Where are you going?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“I’m away just a little while”, Shikadai said. “I promise I’ll be back before two.”

“Are you going to meet someone?” Temari asked.

Shikadai snorted.

“You don’t have to pry in my life”, he said. “I swear I am back before they come. It only takes a second.”

“You were texting”, Temari said. “I saw you smiling at your phone.”

Shikadai stared blankly at her for a second before chuckling nervously.

“I didn’t smile”, he said in a poor act and marched over to the frontside of the house, sliding on his shoes. “See you in a bit.”

“Who is it?”

“Stop asking questions!” Shikadai snarled and made his escape.

He walked in a fast pace towards the café in question, feeling light in his feet and excited. The night before felt like a long time ago, and he didn’t, after his breakfast, have any lingering effects of the drinking from the night. He never got too bad hangovers.

And there, outside the Espresso House among the fake palm trees they used as decoration on the outside of their shop, Shikadai spotted Inojin.

Inojin was wearing a light purple hoodie and skinny black jeans with rips in them, along with black Vans on his feet. Shikadai eyed him quickly, before looking up at his face. Inojin had noticed him already and raised his hand in a lazy wave.

“You found me”, he said, and pointed at Shikadai’s messy bun on his head. “Same!”

Inojin had as well wrapped his blond hair up in a lazy bun on the top of his head. What were the odds?

“I didn’t remember you had long hair too”, Shikadai just blurted out.

“Because I was wearing a cap and had it hidden”, Inojin responded. “You know, basic, shitty restaurant retail worker practicalities.” Now Shikadai saw more he had failed to notice that drunk night about Inojin’s appearance. When Inojin talked and smiled Shikadai noticed a metal brackets and a wire along his teeth. Braces.

_Kinda cute,_ Shikadai thought before stopping himself. Who the heck thinks that?

“Come on”, Inojin said and walked inside the café. “I want the most expensive coffee on the menu.”

“Aren’t you troublesome?” Shikadai sighed as Inojin told his order, a caramel latte, to the person working behind the counter.

“Come again?” Inojin asked, faking that he hadn’t heard Shikadai’s woes.

“Nothing”, Shikadai quickly said, ordering just a simple black coffee for himself, as if he hadn’t just drunk one at home. The order had happened on autopilot, he hadn’t even really considered staying here with Inojin. He had come just to buy Inojin’s fancy sugar latte, but then he glanced down at the porcelain cup in Inojin’s hands.

Inojin hadn’t taken a takeaway cup. He had anticipated to sit down here at the café. To spend time with Shikadai.

“I have time to sit here for about thirty minutes”, Shikadai said.

“Hm”, Inojin said. “That’s okay.”

He walked without looking at Shikadai to a sofa by the corner among fake palm trees and sat down.

“Got a hangover?”

“Me?” Shikadai laughed. “I don’t get hangovers.”

Inojin smiled to him. Shikadai noticed he had dimples on both sides of his mouth.

“If you say so”, Inojin said and began drinking his caramel latte. The whipped cream touched his nose and left a little drop of cream on the tip of it. Inojin didn’t notice it.

Shikadai took a gulp of his own coffee before announcing the cream on Inojin’s nose.

“You got cream on you”, he finally said and Inojin wiped it off. The few silent seconds coming after felt uncomfortable, so Shikadai twisted in his part of the sofa.

“Um, so”, he said. “I saw on your Instagram that you make art. Or I assume it’s your art.”

Inojin lit up at the mention of his art, smiling brightly as he sat up straighter, ready to talk about one of his favourite subjects. Now, when he was smiling more broadly than before, Shikadai took note that he had also braces in his lower jaw.

_How old is he?_ Shikadai thought, suddenly realising that Inojin’s age was really hard to guess based on appearance alone. _Isn’t he my age?_

“Yes, I do make my own art”, Inojin said. “My artist name is jinart, you know, from my suffix Jin and then ‘art’. I do a little bit of everything; I paint with acrylics and do photography.”

“Cool”, Shikadai said. “Do you like painting or photographing more?”

Inojin hummed for himself.

“I don’t know”, he replied. “I like both. Photography is about capturing moments, finding beauty in already existing matters. Painting is bringing your own fantasy to life. It is creating beauty from non-existence.”

Somehow, Shikadai smiled to Inojin’s words.

“Sounds poetic”, he said.

“But I do not write poetry”, Inojin said. “I’m better with pictures than with words. And you, what do you do for fun, then, Shikadai dot Nara underscore?”

“Hey, I chose that username when I was fifteen”, Shikadai snorted when Inojin said his username on Instagram out loud.

“You can change it if you don’t like it”, Inojin pointed out.

“I don’t bother”, Shikadai said. “And um. I don’t really do much. I don’t have a hobby like that. I began studying at uni this fall, so all my time has gone into writing notes and stress over Powerpoints.”

Inojin cocked his head to the side, studying Shikadai with interest as he continued drinking is caramel latte. This time he remembered to wipe off the cream sticking to his upper lip after drinking.

“What are you studying?” Inojin asked, cup still close to his lips.

“International Relations”, Shikadai said.

“Ugh”, Inojin said and Shikadai raised his eyebrows at Inojin’s reaction. “Do you really want to live your whole life reading rapports?”

Shikadai stared at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Live your life by a desk, arranging a stack of paper to another stack of papers and get money for writing emails”, Inojin elaborated. “You are studying towards growing old with an office chair.”

“It’s not like that”, Shikadai said. “We learn a lot about countries, and politics and – “

“And what is your point? That you still want to sit by a desk and turn into stone?” Inojin said, and there wasn’t any hostility in his voice. If not anything else, this was teasing.

“Now you sound like a child”, Shikadai said and loudly slurped his coffee, as if to make a point. He had realised Inojin was teasing him. Flirting with him. He mirrored that behaviour.

“So, they all say of us December born”, Inojin snorted. “Pity us for being the youngest in the group, always the baby. Pfft.”

“You sure they don’t call you a baby because of your clear skin?” Shikadai said, and it was a tease, but Inojin whipped his head Shikadai’s direction and those blue eyes scrutinized him for the longest second on earth. Then Inojin burst out in a smile, a smile where the dimples and the braces were visible.

“Oh, you were looking that closely at me”, he laughed. There it was again. The teasing. Or flirting.

“Of course, not”, Shikadai snorted. “It’s just curtesy to look at the one you’re talking to, that is all.”

“Sure thing, sure thing”, Inojin said, and now it was his turn to slurp his coffee loudly. Shikadai turned uncomfortable by that cheeky smile, so he decided to turn the conversation away from himself.

“You said you had a show today”, he said. “What are you going to watch?”

“I’m not watching”, Inojin said. “I am acting in it.”

“Are you an actor?” Shikadai asked, changing his position in the sofa.

“Not a professional one”, Inojin said. “I have just always done it as a hobby. But this production I am right now has big cash put into it. It’s really cool. I became so happy when it turned out I made it into the production.”

“What character do you play?” Shikadai asked and Inojin leaned forward in eagerness to pass the great news.

“I am doing the male lead”, he said, voice almost giggling out of pride. “Bobby from Urinetown.”

“Urinetown?”

“The name of the musical, yeah”, Inojin said with a pleased smile.

Shikadai just nodded to him, making the mental note to google the plot from Urinetown. What a silly name for a musical, he thought, yeeda yada, artsy kids getting together and sing and dance.

“Is that what you want to do? Do art and acting?” Shikadai asked. Inojin shrugged.

“Yeah”, he mumbled, staring down in his coffee. “If I could, I would.”

“What are you studying then?”

“Nothing”, Inojin said and Shikadai stared at him. “I tried getting into the National Acting Academy, but I didn’t make it.” The grip around his cup tightened and his soft features in his face turned into harsh lines. Inojin bit his teeth together. “So, I have a gap year instead. Don’t know what I want to try next year.”

“Won’t you try again next year to get into acting?” Shikadai asked.

“Don’t know”, Inojin huffed. “I’m not good enough.”

“But you just got the male lead in a musical”, Shikadai tried.

“Yeah, but apparently that isn’t prestigious enough”, Inojin said. “The teachers at the acting academy were really cruel to us who applied. The tests we went through and in the feedback I got. I wonder if some of us who applied decided to quit acting because of how harsh they were. One girl began to cry after she didn’t manage to do some of the physical tests. They yelled at her for not managing a split.”

Shikadai swallowed, trying to find words at the sudden sad turn in the conversation.

“Then they were just meanies”, he said. “You are probably better than that.”

“You don’t have to come up with fake condolences”, Inojin said. His phone buzzed and he quickly checked whatever message he had gotten. “If you could only stay for thirty minutes, then you better get going back home.”

Shikadai opened his own phone to stare at the numbers greeting him.

13.36

“Ugh, yeah, I really got to get going”, he said and sat up, swallowing the final coffee in one big gulp, wincing at the warmth. He looked down at Inojin, still sitting in the sofa, with a little bit of his drink left. “Um. Sorry that I had to leave to suddenly.” He fidgeted with the mug, before placing it down again. The staff comes and collects the used mugs at this place. “So. Good luck for your show tonight. Bye!”

“Goodbye”, Inojin said. “Thank you for the coffee. Your debt is paid.” Shikadai smiled to him and Inojin watched Shikadai’s back until he disappeared completely behind the door.

Shikadai hadn’t seen Yoshino and Shikaku for a few months and he had just enough time to adjust his hair into the ponytail that was his trademark. If he wore his hair loose or had it in any other way than the way of his father, Yoshino would remark that, and he didn’t want to.

“Who did you meet?” Shikamaru asked when Shikadai walked into the kitchen.

“Just someone I met”, Shikadai said, really not feeling up to the task of explaining what the deal was. “Someone who was working at a fast-food place we visited last night.”

“Is she pretty?” Shikamaru asked, and he meant it in all goodwill, teasing his son, but Shikadai clenched his jaw and stared down at his hands.

“Whatever”, he said. “I guess she is.”

A little white lie was born.

“So it’s over with the girl you were dating in the winter?” Temari asked. “Yodo?”

Shikadai had briefly mentioned about Yodo when he had met her the first time, and of course his parents were curious about their son’s life, especially after spending time away for so long. After he had, after the third date, told Yodo he didn’t want to continue meeting her, he had only implied to his parents hat his short fling was over. It was unnecessary, since it was talk about _feelings_ and talking about feelings was annoying.

He just wished they would leave him alone and stop pestering questions at him. They wanted well, but he just wasn’t up for this right now.

“I ended it”, he snapped back. “And no more talking about girls now! Ugh, and do not tell grandma about anything because she will not get off my back.”

Both his parents looked at him, a brief worry flashing over their faces, but eventually Shikamaru nodded.

“Sure”, he said. “Our lips are sealed.”

“Thank you”, Shikadai breathed out at the same time as the outer door opened and Yoshio stood on the other side, yelling _helloooouu!_

“Where is my grandson?” Shikaku asked as he stepped inside. “Hello, all of you.”

Shikadai jumped into the hall to hug his grandparents.

Time to feast on cinnamon buns and catching up with them.

When Shikadai was about to go to sleep, his thoughts searched themselves into dangerous territory. He began thinking of Inojin, who he had met today in better light that earlier. He turned curious about him and before he knew it, he had brought up his phone and entered Inojin’s Instagram profile again.

He looked through the photos and was undeniably more interested in checking out the fewer selfies Inojin had posted instead of looking at his paintings and photographs of nature. He opened up a selfie where Inojin smiled broadly and Shikadai noticed immediately that he did not have braces in this four-month-old photo.

He looked up and stared blankly at the wall opposite to him. Was he seriously looking up close at an unknown boy’s mouth in pictures? That was ridiculous. He opened another photo of Inojin, this time a photo where he was accompanied by a dark-skinned girl. The girl held an arm around his shoulders, and both of them grinned to the camera.

There was a tiny, tiny twinge of pain in Shikadai’s stomach, and he didn’t recognise the feeling. He stared at the arm the girl had around Inojin’s shoulders and closed the photo, scrolling further back. Inojin had quite a lot of pictures uploaded, the majority of them artwork, but every now and then there was a selfie or two. Inojin had a lot of pictures uploaded, closer to five-hundred.

Shikadai checked all of the selfie, before clicking up a photo, which was published two years ago.

The portrait was black and white, and Inojin had his back facing the camera. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, so his pale skin was exposed. Shikadai noticed how he had a little birthmark above his backbone. The pose Inojin was in was radiating vulnerability, as he had his arms around his body, as in a hug, with fingers stiff against his skin, almost clawing himself. Both his forearms had bandages around them.

Shikadai swallow at the sight of the vulnerable pose and the bandaged arms in the photo.

Inojin had his face turned halfway towards the camera, but with the back against the viewer his face remained in a shadow and his expression unreadable.

_Love yourself or you’ll end up like me.,_ was the caption of this photo, and it had a single comment, the dark-skinned girl from the earlier photo, who had commented a red heart on the picture.

Shikadai stared as possessed at the photo. His thumb hovered over the screen, and as in a spasm it did the unspeakable thing. It accidentally double clicked on the screen and a red heart flashed across the screen.

Shikadai turned white in the face as he realised what he had done. He had liked a two-year-old photo on Inojin’s Instagram. A photo he had had to scroll far down to get to. Oh no, now it was so obvious that he had stalked Inojin’s Instagram. And the picture he liked had some deep, dark backstory too!

He quickly undid the like, but the game was already lost. Inojin had probably gotten the notification already.

Well, this was indeed embarrassing. Shikadai wanted to dig a hole for himself and delete his whole account from that app.

The following morning Shikadai woke up late and when he turned around in his bed to reach for his phone, the first thing he noticed was the whole screen filled with notifications.

_Inojinart liked your picture_

_Inojinart liked your picture_

_Inojinart liked your picture_

Shikadai stared at the notifications and opened Instagram, only to find thirty-six red hearts in his notification box. Inojin had gone through his entire profile and liked each and everyone of his thirty-six pictures he had uploaded.

Each and everyone.

Shikadai snorted out loud as he checked the accompanying direct message Inojin had also sent to him during the night.

_Thank you for the like :))))_

_What a guy,_ Shikadai thought for himself as he pressed the ‘follow’-button on Inojin’s profile.

Only a few seconds later a red notification popped up. Inojin had followed him back.

Shikadai couldn’t stop smiling.


	3. A boy on a stage

When being totally free of the burden of university and home assignments and those horrid exams, Shikadai had decided to spend his whole summer just gaming and chilling, sleeping and hanging out with friends. He kept to his promise, slept for long in the mornings and gamed as if nothing in the whole world bothered him.

Except there was one thing bothering him, a thing he had never expected to. It had just been that one drunken encounter and then that one thirty minutes at the café, and it was _nothing more than that_ , and Shikadai had expected himself to move on with his life. He had paid his debt to this random retail worker who was an artist and wanted to be an actor. Everything should be over and done with and he should just be able to immerse himself into a game or two.

But sometimes he found himself thinking about Inojin, thinking about those dimples by the side of his mouth, thinking about that cheeky smile and those beautiful eyes.

And sometimes, he would open his Instagram and check Inojin’s profile. Nothing new, no new pictures had been added since Sunday when they met.

_How was your show on Sunday?_

Shikadai couldn’t keep himself from engaging in a discussion in the direct messages on the app. He had become slightly curious about Inojin, about who he was and what it would be to be his friend.

He waited for an answer. Waited and waited, and checked his phone every third second, only to look at an empty screen. Inojin didn’t answer.

_I must have done something wrong,_ Shikadai was thinking, pacing nervously around in the kitchen while looking for bread to toast. He was unable to think of anything else than the lack of a response. Why didn’t he answer? He was so quick the last time?

“Why are you nervous?” Temari asked, looking up from the newspapers and Shikadai jumped at her sharp voice breaking the silence.

“What? Nervous? I’m not nervous”, he snapped.

“You behave like you are”, Temari said. “You keep checking your phone all the time and you fidget with everything you can get your hand around.”

“Oh, it’s nothing”, Shikadai said at the precise same time as the toaster was done toasting his breads. The breads popped up with a rusty sound of the machine ejecting them, and the sudden noise startled Shikadai. He jumped at the sound and Temari raised her eyebrows. Shikadai wasn’t easily startled. Sometimes she felt he could sleep through a bomb raid and not even blink twice. He wasn’t fidgety.

“You are a bad liar”, Temari said.

“Ugh, stop asking me questions, nothing is wrong”, Shikadai muttered as his phone buzzed. He opened the message as fast as he could.

_Heh, yeah, it went really good!_

“You are smiling again”, Temari said, smiling at her son. “You can just be honest and tell us you’re chatting with someone you like. Is it the girl you met on Sunday?”

Shikadai eyed her quickly as the white lie slipped off his tongue.

“Yeah, it is”, he said. “And no more questions!”

“Our house is open for her when you want to introduce her”, Temari said and Shikadai turned his back towards his prying, annoying mother to read the message again in peace. His thumbs hovered above the screen as he figured out what he wanted to write back to Inojin, when three small dots appeared at the bottom of the screen.

Inojin was typing something!

Shikadai stared as possessed on the three dancing dots, wishing, _yearning_ for the message to appear on the bottom of the screen as soon as possible.

_If you want, you can come and watch! We have only three shows left, on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I can get you a cheaper ticket : )_

“Mum, do we have something I need to attend on Thursday, Friday or Saturday?” Shikadai asked, without looking up from his phone.

“Planning a new date?”

“No!” Shikadai snarled. “I’m going to a theatre show.”

Temari widened her eyes in surprise. She had expected a cinema or café, not theatre. Shikadai hadn’t ever expressed interest in theatre before.

“Theatre?” she parroted. “Oh, sure. You can go any of those days. Which show is it?”

“A musical called Urinetown”, Shikadai said while typing. “Yeah, I don’t know either why anyone would name a musical that. Sounds so weird.”

_All those days work for me. Do you have a preference?_ He asked Inojin and sent the message. He was aware his mother looked carefully at him and he forced himself to drop the phone down into his pocket as he continued preparing his toast. The toasts had already gotten lukewarm from being neglected.

He sulked while spreading butter and shaving a slice of cheese on them. With one hand occupying scrolling his social medias and the other bringing the toast up to his mouth he sat down by the table, waiting for Inojin’s reply.

The phone buzzed.

_Friday is good! Tell me your phone number and they’ll send you a txt message with the link to the cheaper ticket. Pay me eight euro when you get here then, I paid for it already for you. The place is The Old Stage Hall, and the show begins at seven. See ya!_

“I’m going on Friday”, Shikadai said through a smile.

He wasn’t used to going to theatre shows, because the times he had the chance to do it were rare and back then, it had mostly been children’s shows. It was a long time since he was at a theatre.

To say the least, he was excited.

He had no idea what to expect when he sat down in the saloon, in a seat of red velvet, that Friday ten to seven in the evening at The Old Stage Hall. He felt the fabric with his hand. It was soft and felt almost tickling against his fingers. The fabric was much finer than the ones of the chairs in the cinema he more often paid a visit to.

_This is a really fancy place,_ Shikadai thought as he twisted to look around him. He sat in a sea of red velvet and beautiful details painted along the walls and balconies. He remembered how Inojin said this production had a good financing, so that was probably the reason they had the money to rent this beautiful hall.

The other guest at the show had a tad fancier clothing on them, and Shikadai felt satisfied by his decision to put on a fancier shirt while getting ready. He shifted in his chair, scrolled through his social medias before putting it on silence as the lights went off.

Shikadai hadn’t googled at all what Urinetown was about, and to be completely honest, had rather low expectations. The show might be in a fancy hall, but a musical named _Urinetown_ couldn’t be that good, right?

The show begun with a policeman standing on the stage. Apparently, the town this musical focused on forced its inhabitants to pay for visiting bathrooms, as the town had a horrible water shortage. All private toilets had been removed from the homes, and the city was in turmoil, with a revolution incoming.

Shikadai almost snorted in his chair. Who in their sane mind writes a musical about young people standing up against a multimillionaire corporation forcing people to pay to pee? Good thing he didn’t have to pay full price for his ticket.

He sank deeper into his chair, following the show.

And then, Inojin’s character was introduced and Shikadai almost bolted up in his velvet chair. With his long, beautiful hair up in a bun at the nape of his neck and a beret on his head Inojin’s character walked on the stage. He was wearing suspenders.

Shikadai had never known how sexy suspenders are, and the very second that thought entered his head he didn’t even recognise what he was thinking. He just stared at Inojin, standing on the stage, right in the centre of the spotlight, and the way his whole body radiated presence and happiness to be right there on the stage.

Bobby Strong was the name of Inojin’s character.

All of a sudden, the show didn’t seem to be silly anymore, and it may or may not have been Inojin’s presence that did the job. The story was captivating and funny at the same time, because of its absurd theme.

Bobby Strong fell in love with one of the girl characters, someone named Hope. Shikadai twisted in the chair, all of a sudden feeling jealous at the girl holding Inojin’s hand there on the stage. He rolled his eyes when their love song came around, where Boddy – Inojin – and Hope, that other objectively beautiful girl, kissed at the end of their song.

_Oh, how typical_ , he bitterly thought, _of course the main guy gets the girl. Love stories are boring._ He rubbed the side of his temple, feeling even more grumpy at this ‘forced’ romance. _Inojin probably likes that girl in real life as well._ Shikadai tried to shake that thought off him. He had no business in Inojin’s love life. No need to care about who he may like.

The pause rolled around and Shikadai bought a cup of coffee from the small café in the Stage Hall building, leaning against the wall. He sipped the hot drink. No one in the audience seemed to be alone. Everyone had a friend or family member to share a table with, and Shikadai must have come across as grumpy as he stood there. He almost felt ashamed of being alone in the café, awkwardly scrolling his phone as he drank his coffee.

If only Inojin was there to keep him company. He was a quirky guy, after all. But he was probably hanging out with the cast – with that girl who played Hope – backstage.

The tone in the show had turned darker when the second act began, as the CEO of the corporation having control over the toilets people were allowed to use was ready to kill the rebels. Shikadai was intrigued to watch the second act and sank into the velvet chair when he returned.

Inojin’s character Bobby had solo songs and Shikadai could not tear his gaze from Inojin, dancing around on the stage in that awfully good-looking outfit and the beret on his head. His blond hair was swinging from side to side as he walked across the stage, his eyes were gleaming in the spotlight.

Shikadai didn’t know it, but if one looked at him during these moments, they would see that his eyes were gleaming as well, glued to Inojin on the stage.

The show was nearing its climax, as the character Bobby was taken hostage by the police in the corrupted city, blamed for causing the uproar. The song they were singing was engaging, as three characters, Bobby among then, cursed for believing in the CEO’s lies, singing “ _Why did I listen to that man_?”

During this song Inojin as Bobby was led up to the second level on the stage, a level one had to walk stairs to get to, to be above the ground level of the stage.

Inojin was pressed against the railing by the policemen as they sang the song. The policemen threatened to kill Bobby.

_Someone will come and save him,_ Shikadai thoughts as he had scooted himself closer to the edge of his chair, totally consumed by the story of Inojin’s character. Grabbed by the arms by the policemen Inojin sang and Shikadai stared at him, at the helpless gaze Inojin acted in character.

And then something happened that Shikadai didn’t imagine happened in musicals.

The policemen turned Inojin to the back of the second level and _pushed Inojin off the stage._ A recorded sound of Inojin screaming blared in the sound system and then a big smash, simulating a body hitting the ground. If one listened closely one could hear the real Inojin hit a mattress somewhere behind the stage – hidden from the audience’s view.

The lights went off. Shikadai just stared at the stage.

Did they… just kill off Inojin’s character?

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. This was a musical, a musical that killed off their main character! They killed off Inojin!

His fears became true. The character Bobby was and remained dead for the rest of the second act and the rest of the rebels wanted to fulfil his wishes in grippling songs. The good won in the end, and the cost was Bobby’s life.

The show ended and Shikadai found himself lost in time and space. His hands kept clapping and clapping, and the cast came out on the stage to bow. First came the actors with minor roles, and then the actors with a little bit bigger roles.

When the CEO came on stage the audience gave standing ovations.

When the character called Hope, Bobby’s love interest, came on stage the audience was yelling their hoorays.

And the final actor to come on stage to bow was Inojin for playing Bobby Strong.

He seemed so happy to get the ovations, the applauds, and if Shikadai had any say in it – yes, Inojin deserved all the applauds.

Inojin smiled and if one looked closely one could see his braces shine in the spotlight when he opened his mouth wide in the unstoppable, happy grin. He bowed once more, the blond hair flying around his face and neck when he had opened the bun.

Shikadai just stared at him, mouth open. Inojin’s hair was really long, longer than his own. Up in buns one could not easily guess the length, but now he saw it curl down below his shoulder blades.

He was so beautiful.

Shikadai didn’t want to stop clapping to him and the cast. And he didn’t even look at the rest of the cast, standing there, holding hands in a long chain of an ensemble. He was looking straight at Inojin.

After all the applauds were done the cast remained on the stage so friends and family could come up to them and switch a few words, telling them they did well or just commenting the play they had seen.

Inojin remained on the stage as well. For a second Shikadai thought about running away and just walk home with distorted signals in his stomach, but right before he was about to slink out of the hall, he turned around and his eyes met Inojin’s.

Inojin raised his hand in a happy wave and Shikadai couldn’t but turn around and walk up to him.

Inojin’s forehead was sweaty from standing in the hot spotlight for so long and his wild bangs, sweaty as well, were pushed to the side, opposed to the hairs normally covering his forehead. He smiled broadly.

“You came!” he said. He had a mic taped to his cheek. “Did you like it?”

“You were… you were fantastic”, Shikadai blurted out.

Was Inojin blushing or was his face just normally a little bit redder from the adrenaline rush that came from acting in full drive?

“Thank you”, Inojin said.

“I wasn’t expecting you to die though”, Shikadai joked and gently nudged Inojin on his arm. Inojin looked quickly down at Shikadai’s hand, which now moved away from Inojin’s arm. Shikadai swallowed. Maybe he shouldn’t touch Inojin before asking.

“Haha”, Inojin said. “It’s a good plot twist.”

“How far did you jump?” Shikadai asked quickly.

“The fall is two and a half metre, so not much”, Inojin said. “There is a mattress I jump down on, so it’s okay.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Shikadai saw an older lady giving roses to one of the girls from the ensemble, a price, a sign of gratitude for her hard work to bring a story to life in front of the audience. All of a sudden Shikadai felt grumpy at the realisation he hadn’t brought Inojin anything.

He should have bought a rose for him.

A rose?

No, he won’t give any roses to a boy he had met exactly twice before this. Roses are for lovers, not for a random half-friend who awkwardly attends theatre shows to bring.

Yet he glanced down at the deep red rose the girl had received, wrapped in cellophane with a golden band around.

Shikadai forced himself to look back up at Inojin.

“And whatever the stupid teachers at the acting academy said about you…” Shikadai said. “They were wrong and can kiss ass.”

Inojin burst out laughing, that kind of laugh that comes from the bottom of one’s stomach.

“Oh my god, I should’ve said that to them”, he said.

“But seriously”, Shikadai continued. “You were amazing. I didn’t know you could sing that good.”

“I’ve practised”, Inojin admitted. “Hey, thanks, seriously. It means a lot to hear it from you.”

“From me? I know nothing about theatre”, Shikadai said, and somehow his heart picked up its pace. He could feel it beat harder. His pulse was probably visible above his sternum.

“Precisely that reason”, Inojin said. “Because you aren’t familiar with acting, and yet you felt like I was good. Like you could sit there for two hours and just watch. It’s a nice feeling knowing that.”

He shot a bright smile to Shikadai, a smile which exposed both rows of braces.

It fluttered in Shikadai’s stomach.

“Oh, the eight euros you were asking for.” Shikadai remembered suddenly that Inojin had paid for the ticket and he should pay back. He hauled his wallet out of the pocket of his jacket, but Inojin just shook his head.

“Consider it a thank from me”, he said. “You don’t owe me money.”

“But you paid for –“

“You paid for my expensive latte.”

“Because I was in debt.” Shikadai was now confused.

“For what?”

Shikadai blinked at Inojin. Had they played different games all the time, walking around the subject at hand, not understanding what their relationship meant?

Maybe it was true, maybe it was just a mind game they both had been trapped in, or maybe it was just a desperate feeling to _get to know_ what the other boy was thinking.

“For… when me and my friends were drunk and – “

“It’s okay”, Inojin said. “Really.”

The girl who had played Inojin’s character’s love interest came up to them.

“Hey, Inojin, come to the dressing room, Wasabi got sparkling wine, she’s gonna share with us all”, the girl said loudly, as she touched Inojin’s shoulder.

Shikadai stared at her hand beside Inojin’s neck.

“Really?” Inojin said. “I’ll be right there! I just have to give my mic back to the technician.” The girl giggled in an annoying manner and ran over the stage, somewhere behind the curtains. The dressing rooms were probably there, somewhere. Inojin turned to face Shikadai again and smiled to him. “I better get going down there. They are waiting for me.”

Shikadai nodded.

“Thank you for coming”, Inojin said. “I really appreciated it. Bye!”

With those words, Inojin spun his heels and walked over the stage.

On the way out, Shikadai found a leaflet of the play and production that someone had left in their chair. He quickly scanned the area before picking up the forgotten leaflet and leafed through it.

There were printed pictures of the cast in there, and Shikadai found immediately a big picture of Inojin, right there where he belonged, on the centre of the stage, spotlights aimed at his shining, blond hair. This photo was taken during one of the dance numbers, and Inojin’s bun was almost opening from the momentum he had ongoing.

He seemed so happy there.

Shikadai let his fingers gently touch the picture.

He flipped page to the list of the cast and first on the list were no less than Inojin.

_Bobby Strong - Inojin Yamanaka_

”Inojin Yamanaka”, Shikadai whispered before realising he was saying the name out loud. He stuffed the leaflet into the pocket of his jacket – it got crumbled inside the narrow space, but he had to get out of the theatre now.

At home he took out the wrinkled leaflet and looked through the leaflet again, searching for Inojin’s face in every picture of the cast or scenes.

_Inojin Yamanaka…_

He smiled at the thought of that beautiful name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw Urinetown myself when I was 13 years old, and I was blown away by the fact that the main character got murdered by the bad guys. I thought it was amazing to see high stakes on the stage. I have always liked when the main characters has to sacrifice something, hehe. As seen if you read my other fics. Aaaaaaaangstt! ❤


	4. Two boys on an ice cream date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: mention of past self-harm
> 
> And very cute gay panic.

Shikadai’s heart almost jumped in his chest when he saw that Inojin had uploaded a new picture on Instagram. It was a picture from their last theatre show, which they had had yesterday.

The photo was of him, with roses in his hands, smiling broadly to the camera. He wore the clothes he was wearing in the show, that awfully good-looking outfit with the suspenders and beret. The photo had to be taken right after their last show and the caption of it brought forward his feelings of happiness.

_Thank you all so much for this amazing period!! Thank you to all who came to see our shows and the whole cast – thank you. This production has been nothing but the best time ever! I am so happy to have gotten to known you all. The biggest thank goes to our director who saw my potential and gave me the role of Bobby. Inojin bows for the last time and Bobby goes to sleep. Now onto new adventures!_

Shikadai double tapped the photo and a bright red heart flashed on the screen. He smiled at the image. He wanted to go into his direct messages and send a message to Inojin but didn’t know what to say. After procrastinating it for a few minutes he settled to comment on the image instead.

_You were all really good! Thank you for an amazing show._

He threw his phone somewhere among his bed covers, before lazing away to the shower. His parents were working – they would have their summer vacation in July, not June, so Shikadai had mainly the house for himself during the days. That meant slowly eating in the sofa while watching Netflix with hair still damp from the shower, wearing nothing but boxers.

Shikadai began his grandiose day plan accordingly. He showered and washed his hair, he dried himself and got halfway dressed before collapsing in the sofa, flipping through TV channels.

His phone buzzed.

Thinking it was from some of the ten Whatsapp groups he was part of, he didn’t pay much attention to it before he opened the screen and Inojin’s name flashed on it. He opened the message immediately.

_It’s really hot today_

Shikadai smiled at the message. Talking about the weather, huh? What a classic.

_Yeah, I’m almost melting_

That wasn’t a lie. He could feel the sole of his feet stick to the wooden floor, because he was already sweaty. He had the backyard door open, so tiny breezes of wind could get inside, caressing his skin.

Shikadai kept checking his phone while making breakfast for himself.

_Wanna go out for an ice cream?_

Shikadai wanted to yell an audible tiny _yes!_ Inojin asked him to go out. This was of course not a date, no, no, no, far from one, this was just two guys getting ice creams together. Shikadai just liked Inojin’s company. It wasn’t that hard to just keep it like that. Two guys getting ice cream together.

_Sure!_

He debated whether to add the exclamation mark or not, because what if he sounded too eager with that one left there? But he left it. He left the exclamation mark. Let Inojin know he was so, so excited to meet him again.

_In two hours?_ Came the reply.

_Yup, that works for me ^^ See you_

Shikadai hadn’t used that emoticon in a long while. What was happening with him? He rubbed his hair and ate his breakfast. The muesli he was eating grew in size in his tummy and it felt hard to swallow. He was nervous.

Why was he nervous? He had met Inojin before. Everything should be totally okay at this point. They would just sit for ten minutes or so and cool down with a tasty ice cream. It was no biggie, nothing he should be all worked up for.

Yet he felt butterflies in the bottom of his belly.

Inojin had chosen a little outside ice cream stand close to the sea by their town. This was not too far from his workplace either, the grill stand serving fatty fast food. Shikadai looked almost longingly over to the bridge, on which other side that fast food place was.

“You’re thinking about two weeks ago?” Inojin asked when he followed Shikadai’s gaze over to the bridge.

“Well, yeah”, Shikadai said, looked quickly down at his own feet before clearing his throat awkwardly. “It was an interesting night.”

“It was normal for me”, Inojin said as they walked up to the ice cream stand. “I serve drunk idiots almost every nightshift.”

Shikadai didn’t know how to answer that.

“What flavour do you like?”

“Flavour?” Shikadai felt like an idiot. They stood already in the goddamn line to the ice cream stand and he just fumbled upon his words. Of course he needed to know which flavour he wanted for his ice cream. “Um. Um, I think I’ll take chocolate. You?”

“Strawberry”, Inojin said without hesitation, shot a bright smile and proceeded to order from the girl behind the counter. This time they paid for their own ice creams, everything during complete silence. No paying for the other one’s dessert. “Shall we go there on that hill and sit?”

Shikadai was just about to suggest the same. He knew that hill, right behind the ice cream stand, which had a wonderful view over the glittery ocean. Oh, well, the sea wasn’t exactly _glittery_ , it was as brown and lifeless as before. Far away on one of the small islands outside the shore seagulls were screeching.

“Beware or they’ll take your ice cream”, Inojin pointed out as they found a bench at a nice spot on top of the hill.

Occasionally joggers and dogwalkers would pass them, but this hill was usually rather calm.

“Have you had any seagulls taken your ice cream before?” Shikadai asked as he began licking his melting dessert.

Inojin laughed and shook his head.

“But once it was really close”, he then said. “Stupid vultures.”

They continued chatting about this and that, only formal matters and casual formalities, until Inojin had eaten all the soft parts of his ice cream and was about to begin biting into the cone. He took a bite and winced, letting an irritated groan slip out of him.

“You okay?” Shikadai asked as Inojin put a hand in front of his mouth.

“Yeah”, he sighed. “Just aches a bit.” He realised how absurd that sounded without context, so he turned to face Shikadai and ran his teeth over the top wire of his braces. “Earlier this morning I had an appointment to get them tightened. Makes the jaw and teeth ache for the first day. It’s so damn tender.”

“Oh”, Shikadai said. “So that was why you wanted ice cream?”

“Well, I got soup at home too”, Inojin sighed and tried to get a better bite out of the cone. He grimaced but managed to chew and swallow. “But yeah, I figured ice cream would be nice – this cone is just so chewy.”

Shikadai took a bit of his own cone, and yes, this particular type of cone was chewier than cones usually are.

“Do you have to wear them for long?” Shikadai asked carefully, wondering if this was intrusive or not.

Inojin snorted and ran his tongue once again over the brackets.

“Yeah”, he said. “Over a year and a half.” He turned to Shikadai. “I’ve only had these for six weeks. So, they are pretty new so far.”

Shikadai raised his eyebrows. One year and a half sounded like a lot.

“I could have had the chance to get them sooner, you know”, Inojin said, a twinge of sadness in his voice. “I think they said I could get them when I was fourteen, but I refused. I didn’t want to give the idiots at school more reasons to bully me. I refused so hard and lied myself out the situation a few times. Then I began resenting myself, for throwing away a chance to get this fixed. And this winter I went back, and it turned out that the headaches I’ve had were caused by me biting wrong or something, and they strongly recommended braces. So, I kind of swallowed my pride and got it over with.”

Before Shikadai could stop himself his following words just slipped out of him.

“I think they are cute.”

In the matter of milliseconds Shikadai turned bright red and quickly turned away to hide how hot and red his face became as shame blasted through him. _Who the heck says those kinds of things?_ He wanted to implode and sink through the ground to disappear forever.

To his everlasting relief he was met with a small chuckle.

“Thank you”, Inojin said. “I am okay with them now, though, but thank you for the sentiment. They hurt only for a little while and then it’s okay.”

Shikadai began eating his ice cream faster, to have an excuse to not talk with Inojin. Inojin looked curiously at Shikadai, and then, without a word, continued the painful process of eating the cone.

The air felt electric between them. Or was it just Shikadai who felt it, and to Inojin this was just eating ice cream with a friend? Did Inojin _feel_ what Shikadai felt?

Shikadai didn’t like the vibes at all. These feelings felt scary, and yet, he knew they were incoming, inevitable. He knew what they meant, yet he refused to look himself in the mirror to say them out loud. He glanced to the side at Inojin, who had his gaze focused on the water.

The silence was torture for Shikadai because there was too much unsaid between them. But how do you being to talk about unsaid matters?

What he said next saved absolutely no situation and Shikadai wanted to slap himself out of embarrassment.

“So, were you bullied before?”

That was far worse.

“Sorry, sorry, you don’t have to answer that”, Shikadai spluttered out, now prepared to jump away from the bench and run away.

“It’s okay”, Inojin said, and there was no sadness in his voice. He sounded more curious than anything. “Besides, I am not ashamed of anything anymore.” Both Shikadai and Inojin looked down at the exposed skin on Inojin’s arms and at the self-harm scars. White, razor-thin scars. Tens of them on each arm. “I’m just me. And I don’t feel like I have to hide something from you or anything.”

“But…” Shikadai tried to defend himself, still looking down at the self-harm scars. “I just asked you – “

“Yes, I was bullied”, Inojin interrupted. “When I was fourteen-fifteen-sixteen. That was the time after I had come out to everyone and some people at school weren’t nice about it. Dickheads.”

Somehow, half of the sentence went somewhere complete over Shikadai’s head, because the only thing he heard and could focus on was that little line Inojin said.

_I had come out_

_I had come out_

_I had come out_

Shikadai’s heart began pounding in his chest, a sound buzzed in his ears, and his throat felt tight. This was what he, unconsciously had wanted to hear, to know. These two weeks had been a terror in trying to figure out, trying to analyse poses, smiles, comments on pictures, only to have hopes shattered by the kiss Inojin as an actor shared with that one girl on the stage, having jealousy covering him.

He wanted to know if Inojin liked boys.

“You came out?” he just parroted like the idiot he had made out of himself.

Inojin stopped for a heartbeat just to look at Shikadai, before letting out a little laugh. Shikadai continued staring back at Inojin, feeling mute and stupid.

“Yeah, I’m gay”, Inojin said, with a light voice. He sounded almost happy. “I find it funny you asked me. Most people’s gaydar goes off after just saying hello to me, and I’m okay with that. I guess you can just tell by looking at me.”

Shikadai nodded feebly, trying to collect himself. His breaths were tiny.

_He likes boys!_

“How was coming out?” he silently asked, and Inojin twisted to face Shikadai, bringing one of his legs crossed beside the other. Inojin gave a tender smile to Shikadai.

“I was quite young”, he said. “I was fourteen. I had known ever since I was… twelve or something and finally at fourteen I just… didn’t want to hide it anymore. Didn’t want to give a crap about what everyone else was thinking, because I just wanted to be free. It felt like a small price, and I decided to go all out for it. I told my parents, I told my friends, my whole class got to know it pretty soon after. Everything happened in less than a week, and the whole school got to know about. I had to pay a huge price for being myself though. Some boys from my class weren’t the kindest. But I survived.” He waved apologetically with his left arm. Some of the scars were light pink instead of white – hinting of deeper cuts. “Everything is good now.”

Shikadai just blinked at Inojin.

“I’m sorry”, he said.

“Don’t be”, Inojin said, smiling. “Everything is good now”, he added, trying to sound more calming. “I have those idiots blocked everywhere, so they are not in my life at all anymore.”

Shikadai looked down. All his confidence had shrivelled up, because now he was standing in a crossroad. He could either choose the path of hiding, of lying, of ignoring his feelings and continue living a life with resentment. That was the easy path. The path one might think a Nara want to choose because it is simple. It is grey and plane.

The other path was the path of openness and truth. Of admitting and accepting. And loving. Most of all, loving. This path was hard and scary to take, but once the step was taken, maybe it would feel easier. Maybe he could dare to step out of the grey and into that colourful world.

Because he knew by now. He knew what he wanted. And he had known for a long while, way before he met Inojin. Ever since he the first time had a crush on a boy a long time ago and hid it from the entire world.

“Do you think you’ve got a good gaydar?” Shikadai asked and Inojin snorted.

“Pretty good”, he said.

“What… what does your gaydar say about me?” Shikadai barely got out in a faint whisper. Inojin was quiet for a few seconds.

“Look up”, he said and Shikadai forced himself to meet those eyes. “When I see you, I see someone who is questioning.” There was a few seconds’ pause. “Or I see someone who never had said it out loud, to anyone. I see someone trapped inside themselves.”

Shikadai didn’t dare to look up at Inojin. He let his chin fall down against his chest, staring at his hands and fiddling fingers. He snivelled without any other reason to than to postpone a reply.

Then he just nodded, not saying a single word.

He felt how Inojin put a hand against his shoulder and he almost shuddered at the touch. The butterflies were fighting anxiety as of now and having Inojin there beside him made all this more bearable.

“I haven’t told anyone”, Shikadai whispered. “No one.”

“You don’t have to tell anyone before you feel ready”, Inojin said and rubbed Shikadai’s shoulder.

“I have known for almost two years”, Shikadai whispered. “Since I was seventeen, but I have always been a coward. I haven’t been able to face it.”

“You are no coward”, Inojin said.

“You came out when you were fourteen and I can’t still do it, that makes me a coward”, Shikadai said.

“No, that makes us just two different individuals”, Inojin said. Shikadai looked up, he felt how his eyes were tearing up and, in that moment, he felt so _small and vulnerable._ Inojin smiled to him, such an encouraging smile. “Everyone’s journey is just as valid. Don’t feel bad by not wanting to come out just yet.”

Shikadai took a shuddering breath. He didn’t feel the warmth of the sun above them, he did not take notice of the joggers and occasional dogwalker walking past them. He was just aware of his own inner turmoil, and Inojin’s hand on his shoulder rubbing him.

“I’ve had girlfriends since then”, he said. “I’m a liar, a fraud. I’ve told them things they want to hear because I didn’t want to make them feel bad, even if it made _myself_ feel bad. I’ve lied to myself and to my parents multiple times already. It’s getting tough.”

Inojin didn’t say anything, not wanting to disturb Shikadai’s momentum in speaking.

“I even told them I was meeting a girl when in reality I came to meet you”, Shikadai sighed, now showing all his cards to Inojin. There was a heartbeat’s silence where Inojin just studied him. Shikadai sighed again. “I don’t know why. I’m so sorry about lying.”

“Don’t say you are sorry”, Inojin said immediately, but something in his voice felt hollow. Shikadai hated hearing that echo in Inojin’s voice. “It’s not to me you are lying. It’s to yourself.”

Shikadai took a deep breath.

“Why did you feel like lying about meeting a girl when you came to meet me?” Inojin asked.

_Oh, does he really have to ask that question?_

Shikadai shook his head against his hands.

“You don’t have to answer”, Inojin said, as a statement. The answer was pretty obvious anyway. “It’s okay.”

Without restraining himself, Shikadai let himself tip to the side. His head leaned on Inojin’s shoulder, and Inojin didn’t shy away. He let Shikadai lean against him, let his head rest on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry”, Shikadai said.

“Don’t be sorry”, Inojin replied.

Some of the jogger and dogwalkers threw glances over to the boys, one leaning against the other, but most of them kept going on with their business.

At some point Inojin turned his head and pressed a little kiss on Shikadai’s crown of his head. Shikadai held his breath.

“I would like to say it”, Shikadai said in an exhale.

“I’m listening”, Inojin said.

“I am gay”, Shikadai whispered, the words almost blocking his throat completely. And after that, there was the greatest relief he had ever felt. He exhaled, and his muscles relaxed almost instantly. He could feel Inojin smile against the crown of his head.

“I’m happy you felt like saying that out loud”, Inojin said. “That is a great start.”

Shikadai smiled at his hands.

“How did we even begin talking about this?” he chuckled, in a need to distance himself from the ground-breaking news he had just said out loud for the very first time.

“You asked me why I was bullied”, Inojin said.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I shouldn’t – “

“Like I said before, I am totally okay with talking about that”, Inojin said. “I’m proud of the journey I have walked, even if I felt like wanting to give up a few times. But I am here, and I am happy.”

Before Shikadai had time to respond to that, his phone rang. He hauled it out of his pocket and saw his mother’s name flash on the screen.

“It’s my mum”, Shikadai said. “I’ve got to take this, if I don’t answer she’ll yell at me when I get home.”

He pressed the green button and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Hello”, he said.

“ _Hi, where are you_?” Temari asked on the other side of the line. “ _You didn’t say you were going out_.”

“Um, no, because I was still sleeping when you went to work”, Shikadai said. “I’m on the hill by the sea. I was eating ice cream. Why – are you worried?”

“ _No, I was just wondering_ ”, Temari said. “ _Are you alone or who are you with_?”

Shikadai glanced over at Inojin.

“I’m with a friend”, he said. “A friend I met a few weeks ago. We were just having ice cream.”

“Are you coming home for dinner?” Temari asked. “I just came home from work, I’m about to make some. We got salmon, potatoes, and remoulade sauce. Would your friend like to join?”

Shikadai stared up at Inojin, wondering if he could hear Temari speak. Inojin stared back in mutual terror, before relaxing and almost laughing.

“Sure”, he said, shrugging like this wasn’t the end of the world and hideously awkward to just strut into the Nara household together with Shikadai. Damn actor, can get himself through any difficult situations just like that.

“But isn’t your mouth aching?” Shikadai hissed back.

“I survive”, Inojin hissed back. “Salmon sounds delicious.”

“Well?” Temari asked in the phone.

In complete panic Shikadai blurted out, “Yes, he is coming.”

There were a few extra seconds of silence. Shikadai could imagine why there was the awkward silence from his mother. She must’ve been surprised at the ‘he’ instead of the ‘she’ she expected. She must’ve thought Shikadai was out with the imaginary girl he had lied about, and this confused her.

“Okay, dinner is ready in forty-five minutes”, Temari said, sounding extra happy in an attempt to smother the few extra seconds, and clicked off the call, leaving Shikadai standing with his phone in his hand.

He was probably white as a sheet in his face. He knew his parents liked meeting his friends, they liked being an active part of his life and knowing what his friends were like. Inviting friends to dinner was normal. Well, when they invited Boruto or Mitsuki it was normal. Even inviting Sumire and Sarada would feel normal, but this wasn’t. This was Inojin and this was _different!_

Shikadai licked his lips and his scared gaze met Inojin’s eyes.

“Please, not a word about what we just talked about”, he whispered.

“I promise I will not say a word”, Inojin responded. “This is your identity, and I will not trespass into it.”

Shikadai exhaled slowly.

“My legs became noodles”, he just said and Inojin rubbed his shoulder again. Feeling a little stronger from the touch, Shikadai took another deep breath. “It takes almost half an hour to walk to my home from here. We should get moving to get in time. My mum does not like when people are late.”

Inojin chuckled.

“Are you getting hungry?”

“Yeah”, Shikadai responded and began walking down the hill.

Their hands almost touched on the way to Shikadai’s home. Sometimes Shikadai could feel Inojin’s hand just a heartbeat away from his own. He could feel the warmth transfer through the millimetres of air between their hands.

His heart was beating so hard, and his stomach felt almost cold. He dared to glance at Inojin, who responded with a cheeky smile.

All of a sudden, a warm hand enclosed Shikadai’s hand. He looked down at Inojin’s hand holding his.

He didn’t care that their hands turned sweaty from holding to firmly onto each other in this heat.

All he cared about was Inojin’s hand in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, look at this pathetic attempt at a slow burn. Just kiss already.
> 
> But hey, dinner with the Nara family incoming! Will Inojin be able to keep his mouth shut?


	5. Two boys taking a leap of faith

The happiness from holding Inojin’s hand shrivelled quickly up to nothing more than uncertainty and stress when they curved in on the street Shikadai’s parents, Shikamaru and Temari, lived – the street leading to the house he had grown up in.

Shikadai shook Inojin’s hand loose. It was sticky from holding onto him for so long.

“Sorry”, he just said. “I don’t want them to see.”

“It’s fine”, Inojin said, but he didn’t sound so happy about it.

“Sorry”, Shikadai just repeated, finding himself at loss for words. This was so hard to talk about. “I mean, I want to, but I’m not ready.”

“You have already been brave”, Inojin said. “Well, if I’m about to share the dinner table with your parents, I might need to know something about them.”

“They do this with most of my friends”, Shikadai said. “They like to know whom I’m friends with, so they invite them over to dinner quite often. If someone is at our house and mum makes dinner, they expect my friend to join the dinner table as well. It’s normal in our house. But… you know… I’ve known you for just a little more than two weeks.”

Inojin laughed, the sun reflecting off his blond hair. He seemed so carefree, so free of worrying and calculating the outcome. For a moment, Shikadai wished he could be just like Inojin. Just tipping his face upwards and feel the sun shining down at them, looking forward to the next moment in life.

How easy it would be, would feel.

“But like, what are they like?” Inojin prompted again. He was still looking upwards, seemingly light, and happy.

“Well, my dad is really chill”, Shikadai said. “He works a pretty stressful job, so when he is home he wants to just relax. We are usually watching tv together or play chess or something like that. Dad is very good at chess.”

“What is he working with?”

“He is a member of the City Board”, Shikadai explained. “He is the boss of the department of infrastructure.”

Inojin whistled lowly.

“Cool”, he said. “And your mum?”

Shikadai snorted.

“She is a hurricane”, he said. “Always doing stuff. Has a million of things going on all the time, be it work or martial arts, which she does as relaxation, and still she finds time to sit down with me and talk. She is a consultant for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs.”

“Your mum is doing martial arts to relax?” Inojin laughed.

“She is interesting for sure”, Shikadai said. “Don’t be scared of her, she is nice, even if she seems frightening at first glance.”

Inojin laughed even harder. Shikadai loved his laugh, loved hearing that carefreeness.

“And they ask your friends to eat dinner with them”, he said. “Imagine your friends sitting on needles just waiting for the dinner to be over with when your mum is asking them questions to make sure they don’t do drugs and stuff, oh, this is the best thing I’ve heard.”

“Ha ha”, Shikadai said dryly. “Just wait until she asks you.”

“I’m not afraid of anything”, Inojin said.

Shikadai whipped his head towards Inojin.

“Everyone has fears”, he said without missing a heartbeat and Inojin looked down.

“I’m not afraid of being asked questions, that is all”, he said, pouting slightly.

The Nara residence towered in front of them. The house was at the end of the street, with apple trees and spruces surrounding the house on the big yard around it. Inojin scanned the frontside of the house quickly. The front yard har stone paving, two cars were parked in the open garage. Inojin was sure they had a huge terrace on the backside of the house.

This must be the best house on the whole street, as it was at the end of it, and they had no neighbours in direct connection to their yard.

They stepped onto the porch and suddenly Shikadai realised one horrific factor in this meeting. If what Inojin said was true, that most people look at him and immediately get the sense he is gay, will Shikadai’s parents immediately get that feel too? Will they add two and two together, look at the very obvious, proud boy who had been out for years and then at their son and see the connection?

Will they ask Inojin directly if he is gay? Oh god, surely Temari must have more class than that. She cannot be that embarrassing of a mum, right?

Or even worse, will they ask if they are dating? What will Shikadai say then?

Sure, he _wanted_ to date Inojin. That thought hadn’t really manifested inside him yet, since he hadn’t dared to even think it before he knew for certain Inojin is interested in boys as well. And today he got the answer. They had even held hands, Inojin had even kissed him on his head when he had rested his head on Inojin’s shoulder.

He got it confirmed as well that it was okay to be scared. A massive boulder had moments earlier been taken away from his shoulders, only to be reattached by this new fear.

Was he too transparent?

Does it _show_ who he is if he brings Inojin with him?

With a myriad of thoughts flashing around in his head he opened the outer door. The steam from the kitchen reached their noses and it smelled deliciously.

Temari approached from behind the corner while Shikadai and Inojin removed their shoes. She quickly assessed the new boy in the hall before smiling to him.

“Hello”, she said and brought her hand forward. Inojin took the hand and shook it. “I am Shikadai’s mum, Temari.”

“Hi”, Inojin said. “My name is Inojin.”

Shikamaru, who had come home from work as well came around the corner to get a look at Inojin.

“Well, hello”, he said and shook Inojin’s hand as well. Shikadai wanted to sink through the floor. The whole aura of the way they shook hands radiated as if they were shaking hands with their son-in-law. “Shikamaru. Shikadai’s dad.”

“Nice to meet you”, Inojin said. “Thank you for inviting me for dinner.”

“No problem, no problem”, Temari said as she whipped around to march into the dining hall. “Come this way.”

Inojin stomped after Temari, seemingly interested and curious, while Shikadai dragged his feet after him. The table was set, and a big salmon was placed in the middle of the table, bordered with lemons.

“Yum, it looks delicious”, Inojin announced when he sat down by the table as if he was a member of the family. Shikadai sat beside him.

They served food during silence and awkward necessities and after the first bites Shikamaru looked up from his plate at right at Inojin.

“So…” he said. “I have to ask you, are you Ino Yamanaka’s son?”

Inojin lit up, while mushing his food with the fork. He wanted to make it as soft as possible, so he wouldn’t have to chew that much. His mouth was still sore from the tightening of his braces the same morning.

“Yes, she is my mother”, he said after looking up from his mushed food. “Do you know her?”

Shikamaru chuckled lightly.

“We went to school together”, he said. “It’s been a couple years since I spoke to her last, but we are friends on Facebook. She uploaded photos from a show, and I thought you seemed familiar.”

“Oh, that must’ve been this spring’s production”, Inojin said. “I got the main part as Bobby in Urinetown. We put it up in the Old Stage Hall.” He flashed a smile over to Shikadai and Shikadai blushed like a cherry tree in spring. He stared down at his plate in a poor attempt to hide the sudden blush, but he knew nothing could avoid his parents’ calculating gazes. They were unfairly good at reading his body language. “Shikadai came to watch it last Friday, actually.”

Shikadai could not stop himself from smiling at the thought. He had been crushing so hard on Inojin during those two hours, after all.

He was so transparent. Temari shot a brief glance at him before looking back at Inojin, who was delighted at answering personal questions. _That boy is amazing_ , Shikadai thought. He would feel so uncomfortable in Inojin’s place, but Inojin enjoyed being the centre of attention.

“The main part?” Temari asked. “Sounds tough.”

“Hehe, there was an audition, yes”, Inojin said. “I want to be an actor one day for musical theatre.”

“Oh, interesting”, Shikamaru said. “So, what does Ino do nowadays? I’ve seen pictures of wreaths, both drawn and real wreaths, on Facebook.”

“Oh, mum makes real wreaths out of flowers and sell them”, Inojin explained. “And my dad draws her wreaths for fun. He is an art teacher.”

The discussion went on in a natural manner. Inojin was a fantastic speaker, having a natural way of upkeeping dialogue and find ways to discuss different matters. In the span of thirty minutes he had talked about the traffic of their city, of art, of a new museum in the next city over, of which countries he had travelled to and finally how he met Shikadai.

It had been Temari who asked that question.

“How did you two meet and become friends?” she asked and placed her cutlery together on the plate.

“We met in the middle of the night when I was out with Boruto”, Shikadai said and Inojin filled in the rest. He skilfully avoided talking about how he had been rude to the company and what Boruto had said to him that night. He put a rose filter on everything, making it seem like Shikadai just happened to stumble upon him there at the parking lot with the little fast-food stand.

That wasn’t too far from the truth. Inojin might have been working that night in a greasy kitchen, tired and pissed of from working until 03 in the morning, and Shikadai might had come to that place as a costumer, just wanting some fries, but _something_ had sparked that night, and Shikadai wanted almost to compared it to fate.

Shikadai let his foot slide sideways, towards Inojin’s foot. He just had to. This was an instinct, something ancient and primal. Something he couldn’t control.

His foot touched Inojin’s foot. Inojin didn’t even bat an eye at the new touch while his mouth kept babbling, but his foot pushed back towards Shikadai’s.

Inojin placed his foot on top of Shikadai’s foot, slowly caressing it with his heel and pads. Shikadai wanted Inojin to continue doing that forever, continue feeling him, touching him.

He imagined what it would feel like without wearing socks, to let his naked, sensitive skin on the top of his foot feel Inojin gently stroking him.

“Shikadai?” Shikamaru said and Shikadai looked up. Had he zoned away? Of course,he had zoned away. He had been lost in thoughts and dreams of feeling Inojin’s naked skin. “Do you want coffee?”

“Um, yes”, Shikadai said, feeling like a fool.

A love fool.

Dinner was maybe over, but there was still the dessert coffee to drink after the company had moved over to the sofa in the living room. The coffee was of course bitter, but delicious in its own way. Inojin drank his coffee fast, as if he were half a dragon and could swallow burning liquid.

“Thank you so much for the food”, he said politely after placing down his cup. “But I have to leave now. I have work starting in a few hours and I must try to get a nap before that.”

“What are you working with in the middle of the night?” Shikamaru asked.

“Um, I work at a fast-food place”, Inojin said, chuckling almost nervously. That was a detail he had omitted when telling the story how he and Shikadai met. He was probably feeling embarrassed by sharing this information in the presence of a family consisting of highly educated people with good salary. “I have the night shift quite often.”

“When does the night shift end?” Shikamaru asked.

“Three in the middle of the night”, Inojin said. “So yeah, I have to be awake quite a long time. That is why I want to doze away in my bed before heading there. Um. Thank you again for the food and coffee.”

“Please, come back one day”, Temari said to him. “Have a nice shift.”

“I’d gladly visit you again”, Inojin said and smiled towards Shikadai. He sat up and began walking towards the hall where his bag and shoes were. Shikadai followed him.

“Um, it was fun that you came”, he said.

“Yeah, it was fun seeing your house”, Inojin said. “I can show you my house too next time. I’d like to stay for longer, but now I have to leave so I can survive another night shift.”

Inojin walked out of the door and Shikadai followed him a bit. He was still only wearing socks and he stepped immediately at small pebbles, grimacing at the pain, but that wasn’t stopping him.

“Wait”, Shikadai said. “I – I…”

Was he _stammering?_ This couldn’t be more unnerving.

“Um, listen”, he whispered. “Can you text me tomorrow when you wake up after your night shift? I would… I would like to see you again.”

Inojin shot a bright smile to Shikadai, the smile where his braces were visible.

“I’d like to see you too”, he murmured. “You know, I have been thinking about you a lot since we met.”

Shikadai swallowed.

“You have?”

“Yes”, Inojin confirmed. “There was something in you that intrigued me. And you have brought nothing but surprises to me. You are a fun guy.”

Shikadai licked his lips, not sure if the ‘fun guy’-comment equalled a ‘no homo’-statement. He mustered all braveness he had inside him, heart galloping inside his chest and throat dry, as he opened his mouth.

“And if we see each other tomorrow again”, he began, voice almost shaking. “Is it – can it be a date?”

Inojin stared at him for a moment, blue eyes shining and a mouth breaking into a smile.

“A date, huh?” he said. “That sounds like a perfect plan.”

He placed his hand on Shikadai’s shoulder.

Time stopped.

Shikadai stared into Inojin’s eyes as they came closer him and before they were as close as closeness goes, Shikadai let his eyes slide close when his lips met Inojin’s.

They kissed.

Butterflies stormed around in his body, sparkling heat everywhere, and his face felt almost cold as they kissed. This was beyond Shikadai’s expectations. He hadn’t in a million years planned to kiss Inojin today, now, hours after he had told his most guarded secret of them all.

But this was the way he wanted to go.

He knew already he had fallen in love with Inojin.

Lips slightly parted Inojin put a little more pressure into the kiss, before pulling away with a slight popping sound. Shikadai opened his eyes and couldn’t stop grinning.

“See you tomorrow”, Inojin said and caressed Shikadai’s cheek. “I’ll text you when I wake up. A date sounds perfect.”

With those words he turned around and walked away. Shikadai remained standing there in their front garden, shoeless and only wearing socks. He touched his own cheek, only to feel heat radiate from them. He was probably blushing.

Inojin had _kissed him!_

Oh, how wonderful it is to be in love.

Temari was in the kitchen, ready to organise cutlery and plates into the dish washer when she by a happening looked outside the window, only to see something she had not expected to see.

She saw Shikadai and Inojin kiss out in their front garden.

Temari remained frozen in the window, just staring at the two boys kissing. Inojin had his hands placed on Shikadai’s shoulders and face slightly tipped to the side, giving more emphasis into their kissing.

_So, more than a friend,_ Temari thought and quickly walked away from the window, so Shikadai wouldn’t notice that she had ever been there when he would turn around. She filled the washing machine, back very pointedly towards the window, when Shikadai came back into the house.

He was smiling at his feet as he walked into his room and closed his door after him. Temari studied the closed door, wondering if she would go inside and ask him. After a second of pondering, she decided to not interfere.

Shikadai will get the chance to come out by himself when he feels ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently writing the final chapter! It has been a slow process, but I am cracking on the best I can. 
> 
> And whoops. Now Temari knows her son's secret.


	6. Two boys in a world of beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Discussion of past self-harm

“No, I can’t come”, Shikadai said to the phone. He heard an irritated silence on the other side of the line, and he knew it was because Boruto was surprised, perplexed even.

“Why?” he asked, sounding suspicious. “We were talking about having a stream together today, have you forgotten?”

Shikadai grunted under his breath. He had promised at some point to join Boruto on a Twitch stream he used to do. He had a channel on the streaming service Twitch, where he played games the calibre of Untitled Goose Game and Goat Simulator, silly games with high entertainment value, and Shikadai had promised to guest on his Twitch stream and play a game with him for two hours.

“Yes, I forgot”, he lied.

“But you promised.” Boruto’s pout was hearable through the phone. “I even told my subscribers I would have a guest.”

“You’ve got nine subscribers, Boruto, I’m sure they survive without me”, Shikadai said.

“What are you going to do instead today then?” Boruto asked and Shikadai bit his teeth together at having to lie to Boruto. He was just not ready yet. Soon yes, but not yet. He just wanted to feel comfortable with the situation with Inojin and that day was not today.

Maybe tomorrow, but not now.

“My parents got guests and they force me to stay home and share lunch with them and their guests”, Shikadai lied through his teeth. He quickly scanned his room to find help to his lie, when his gaze fell on the leaflet from Inojin’s show that he had saved and left on his desk to open and fondly look at the picture of Inojin inside it whenever he felt a rush of affection going through him. “Some Ino Yamanaka that was dad’s friend in school. I’ve never met her before, but they want me here.” The lie grew inside his head. “She has a son my age, so they want me to entertain him while they talk, I don’t know, about politics and stuff.”

Shikadai could almost _hear_ how Boruto frowned on the other side of the phone.

“But you _like_ talking about politics”, Boruto said.

“Well, you get the picture”, Shikadai almost snarled, sounding exasperated. “Look, I am sorry. I can come and join your stream some other day.”

“Yeah, yeah”, Boruto said. “Whatever. Do you wanna do something later this evening after the guests have gone home?”

“Um…” Shikadai looked over at his watch. Inojin had texted half an hour ago, telling that he had woken up and was eating breakfast. He had given Shikadai the address and told him which bus to take to get to his house, as an invite to tell Shikadai he wanted him to come to his home. “I don’t know. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“I do sense your lies but whatever”, Boruto said. “Text me if you’re interested in hanging out one day, or whatever. Bye.”

He shut the call and Shikadai remained with the silent phone in his hand for a while, feeling frustration and shame over having to lie about this issue to his friend. He had wanted to join Boruto on his stream, he really did, but right now Inojin was more important in his life.

He had only known Inojin for less than a month, yet he was the only thing Shikadai could think of, focus on.

He was so hopelessly in love, that was no lie anymore, no secret to himself anymore. He had accepted his crush and accepted his feelings since a few days ago, and this had only manifested harder inside him since Inojin had been bold enough to kiss him the day before.

“Where are you going?” Shikamaru asked when Shikadai strutted into the hall. He had seen through the open bathroom door how Shikadai had meticulously brushed his long hair and put it up in a neat ponytail high up on his head, and noticed the extra attention Shikadai had put into his appearance and hygiene this day.

Shikadai threw a gaze at his father, who was just looking at his son with a curious gaze from the sofa where he sat, reading the newspapers.

“A – a date”, he got out. There was no need to lie right to the face of his father, since he knew Shikamaru could detect lies from the lightest of clues. Especially when he tried to lie. Shikamaru knew him too well. “The girl from earlier.”

His ears got warm from the lie and the word ‘girl’ felt almost like poison on his tongue. He did not want to lie, yet he did it.

Shikamaru took a deep breath and placed the papers down on the coffee table. Shikadai eyes him carefully, nervous of what he was going to say next.

“If there is anything you want to talk about, we are here to listen to you”, he said with a slow and even voice, emphasis on every word. “No matter how big or small.”

 _Oh no, they know_ , Shikadai thought, feeling a shiver run down his spine.

“Um, yes, I know”, Shikadai quickly spluttered out. He turned his back to Shikamaru, hiding his face as he bent down to tie his shoes.

“We love you no matter what”, Shikamaru said, while Shikadai wasn’t looking, failing to make it sound natural in the situation. He settled to chuckle to his dad instead in a try to alleviate his nervousness.

“It’s not like I’m going to die”, Shikadai laughed. “Stop being silly now. I’m leaving. I don’t know when I will be back.”

He could feel Shikamaru’s gaze burn his neck when he walked out the door. He didn’t look back to face his dad’s eyes.

The bus ride over to the part of the town where Inojin lived took half an hour. This part of the city belonged to another other school district, which was why Shikadai had never encountered Inojin before, even if they had lived in the same town their whole lives.

He stared out of the bus window, music blasting in his headphones, as the neat rows of semidetached houses and rose gardens rushed past them. This was a green part of the town, with a lot of apple trees and gardens, similar to the part his parents lived in. He had never been here before and had to look at the map on this phone to find his way among the rows of houses and swirling streets.

At last Shikadai found the correct street and when his navigator announced that he was just a little bit away from the right how, he felt butterflies and nervousness grown in his stomach.

He would meet Inojin again!

The found the right house and walked through a garden filled with flowers and apple trees. The Yamanaka’s house was far in behind the bushes and Shikadai walked on cobble stone put on the grass as a path to walk on. He heard bees fly around in a search for nectar among the coloursful flowers.

A homemade signpost hung above the door; the text _Yamanaka Residence_ painted in dark purple on the wood.

Shikadai knocked on the door and he didn’t have to wait many seconds before the door flung up and an Inojin with wild, loose hair stood on the other side of it. His hair was so long and shiny, and for a moment Shikadai could only stare at it.

“Hi!” Inojin said and gave Shikadai that wonderful, wonderful smile. “Come inside.”

“Hi”, Shikadai said and walked into the hall. There were tons of paintings and artwork up on the wooden walls. The house felt small and cosy, and it smelled like flowers and herbs inside. Shikadai decided he liked this house. While his parents’ house definitely was designed according to a minimalistic and stylish design, just like his parents wanted, as they were interested in big, white areas, this house showed a touch of maximalism instead.

Just like Inojin. His personality was a myriad of things, of wonderful things, while Shikadai was more laid back.

“I really like your house”, Shikadai said.

“Thank you”, Inojin said. “My parents aren’t home”, he added in a very intentional way. His hand moved forward and touched Shikadai’s hand. Inojin’s blue eyes sparkled.

“What a coincidence”, Shikadai whispered, voice almost hoarse. He enclosed Inojin’s hand with his own.

“They are visiting my grandma”, Inojin continued, his eyes sliding down to Shikadai’s lips. “Will not be home for the whole day. Come and see my room.”

He held Shikadai’s hand firmly as he led Shikadai up a flight of narrow wooden stairs. The stairs made creaking noises for every step they took.

On the second floor Inojin showed his room, a big, messy room with a big bookshelf filled with books and figurines, a corner dedicated to painting and making art, a desk with a laptop, a drawing tablet and a camera, and a big, fluffy bed with bedsheets of a galaxy.

“Cool bedsheet”, Shikadai pointed out and nodded towards the covers on the bed. He swallowed, mustered up all the braveness he owned. This was all new and scary, but he felt ready to stand up to that challenge. He put his hands against Inojin’s chest and gently pushed him down on the bed. Inojin flopped down without hesitation.

Shikadai sat beside Inojin, placed a hand on Inojin’s cheek and leaned down until his lips met Inojin’s.

Inside, he was smiling so he might burst.

They continued kissing, their bodies moving closer to each other for every movement their lips made and at some point, without the boys knowing how it had happened, Shikadai was laying on top of Inojin in his bed.

Then Shikadai pulled away, lifting his head to a distance far enough so they could look at each other. He felt almost out of breath after what had happened, after all the small, innocent kisses he had let rain on Inojin’s lips. He couldn’t stop smiling.

“Hey”, Inojin said gently and stoked his hand along Shikadai’s cheek. “That was amazing, wasn’t it?” Shikadai fell to the side, allowing Inojin to sit up. “I have waited for this moment.”

“Me too”, Shikadai admitted. “I don’t know why, but my thoughts would always, _always_ go back to you. Whatever I was doing, there was you in the middle of it all.”

Inojin leaned forward and kissed Shikadai again.

“Same”, he said. “I remember seeing you there in the middle of the night, really seeing you when you came up to me afterwards and talked. I thought that I had never seen someone as beautiful as you.”

Shikadai had to snort at those sweet words. No one had ever called him beautiful. Maybe good looking or handsome, but beautiful? Somehow, those words made it tingle down on him.

Not that it hadn’t already tingled. If Inojin looked down, he would surely see the grown bulge.

The thought became too tempting inside Shikadai and his gaze fell down, down at Inojin’s crotch.

And sure thing, it had tingled for Inojin as well. His boner was visible through his shorts.

He looked up again to meet Inojin’s eyes.

“Beautiful?” he echoed and Inojin burst out in a snicker.

“I know a pretty boy when I see one”, he said, playing with a loose strand of hair beside Shikadai’s ear. “Ever since we first met at coffee, I really hoped you would be interested in boys. I couldn’t tell for sure you were ready or willing to try, so I tried to flirt a bit with you.”

“You drove me almost crazy”, Shikadai said.

“Good, pretty boy”, Inojin snickered and Shikadai surrendered to the instinct of his human body and continued kissing Inojin.

“You are the one who is pretty”, Shikadai retorted, letting his fingertips feel into Inojin’s hair, massaging the back of Inojin’s head. “With this hair and those eyes and that smile.”

They remained in bed, lying fully clothed on top of the bedsheet, talking about life and everything in between. They held hands. Shikadai let his fingers stroke over Inojin’s forearms littered with scars, trailing them with his fingertips. He was very careful not to seem judging, more interested and accepting of Inojin’s past. He then leaned down and pressed small kisses on top of the scars.

“I don’t have feeling anymore there”, Inojin said as Shikadai’s lips stroked by the biggest and pinkest scar of them all. “I got nerve damage on this area. But it’s not that big, I can feel again when we go down here. And it’s better on my right arm, those scars are shallower.”

Shikadai didn’t say anything for a long while, just regarding Inojin’s scars.

“I think…” Shikadai finally said with a puff of air, sighing at what he was going to say next. “That I’ll come out to mum and dad when I get home again.”

Inojin smiled at him.

“That sounds like a good plan”, he said. “Trust me, it will feel so much better after it is done. Honesty and truth to yourself pays off in the end.”

“How did you do it?” Shikadai asked. “Come out to your parents?”

Inojin let a little laugh loose.

“I bought a gigantic Pride flag and put if up on my door”, he said. “Then dad came into my room and asked what the flag meant. He didn’t know back then what the Pride flag was. And I told him, quite aggressively, actually, what it meant. I wish I hadn’t been so black and white about it, but I was a little bit scared of being scolded or whatever. I snarled that he won’t ever see a girlfriend in this house. My dad nodded and said okay and walked down again and like two seconds later mum came up and asked more about it.”

Shikadai couldn’t almost believe his ears. That was indeed a unique way of getting the necessities out of the way.

“What did your mum say then?” he asked.

Inojin shrugged,

“She asked what was going on and I pointed at my giant flag and she looked at me and asked if I identified as gay”, Inojin said. “She knows how to talk about that stuff. And I said yes and that I won’t ever bring a girl home. God, I was so tense that I just focused on the girl part over and over again. But my mum just hugged me after that and said it was okay. Then dad peeked into my room and asked if I need condoms.”

Shikadai snorted.

“Oh my god, what did your dad think you’d do? Walk as a fourteen-year-old into a gay bar?” he asked with an amused tone on his tongue.

“Dad is funny”, Inojin said. “He has weird ways to go on and about. But he is cool. Well, needless to say, my parents accepted it immediately and I think it didn’t come as a surprise to them at all. I had experimented with eyeliner a bit that same year, so I think they sensed it. People’s gaydars are going rabid around me anyways.”

“Mine didn’t”, Shikadai said.

“Because you are dense”, Inojin said and bonked his finger on the top of Shikadai’s head.

“Ow!” Shikadai said and rubbed his head. “You pecked me.”

“Revenge me then”, Inojin said and Shikadai did just like he wanted. He pushed Inojin back down on the bed, smothering him in wet kisses on his nose, on his mouth, on his forehead and on his cheeks.

“Your lips are so soft”, Shikadai whispered to Inojin.

“Aws”, Inojin said and placed both his hands on either of Shikadai’s cheeks. “Shikadai… all your kisses might already had told me this, but… man, I can’t stop thinking of you. I have dreamed of you during the nights, I have talked about you with my friend, I – “

“You have?” Shikadai interrupted. “Aws, what did you say?”

“I said I have met a wonderful guy I have gotten a crush on”, Inojin said without missing a beat. “And I wonder… if this wonderful guy would like to be my boyfriend?”

Shikadai’s heart almost stopped, before tension released in his mind.

“Yes”, he said almost soundlessly. “Yes, I want to be your boyfriend.”

This was unbelievable. From not knowing Inojin at the beginning of the summer to lying in his bed, kissing him, bringing your arms around him and calling him your boyfriend. Shikadai had had crushes on boys before and he had looked at model pictures of half naked men, looking at their bodies and thinking that the man body is way more gorgeous than the woman’s body. He had nurtured his sexuality deep inside his mind, and never in his wildest fantasy imagined to bring it this soon to the next level.

He was nineteen and had for a longer moment felt desperate for someone to feel the same as he. Desperate to hear another boy say _I am the same. And I like you._

He almost begun to cry. His eyes turned redder and his face blossomed up in a dark pink colour and he lowered himself to hide his face against Inojin’s chest. Inojin brought his arms around Shikadai and pressed gently.

“It’s okay”, he just said when Shikadai snivelled lightly in his hiding. “I’m here.”

“I have… wanted to feel like this for a long time”, Shikadai shuddered. “Like someone finally understands… and _likes_ me.”

“Shikadai, I like you so much”, Inojin said. “You deserve the world. You deserve to feel loved. And you are.”

Shikadai just remained like that for a long time. Inojin brought his hands back and forth over Shikadai’s back, lightly scratching him. He brought his nose into Shikadai’s hair, trying to memorise this scent forever.

“I like the scent of your shampoo”, Inojin whispered into Shikadai’s hair.

“I showered this morning”, Shikadai said, smiling against Inojin’s chest. “I wanted to feel fresh when I was going to meet you.”

Inojin squeezed him closer.

“You know what we can do”, he said and lifted Shikadai up. “If you want to… I can take a portrait of you. You know, I like taking photos of humans. Finding the beauty of their features, of their faces.”

“I can’t really pose”, Shikadai said apologetically.

“You don’t have to pose”, Inojin said as he jumped out of the bed to the corner of his room. He had a white sheet laying in a pile on the floor, and he brought the sheet up and hung it on hooks he had screwed into the wall, creating a homemade studio in the corner. “You just have to sit here and do what I tell you to do.”

He put a little stool in front of the white sheet and gestured Shikadai to sit down. Shikadai obeyed and sat down on the stool, still feeling a little pink shade covering his face. He was not used to being in this kind of centre of attention.

Inojin checked his camera, did something to the settings and took a test picture.

“I wasn’t ready”, Shikadai pouted after the flash had gone off.

“It was just a test to see if I’m focusing right”, Inojin said as he checked the photo. When he was satisfied with the settings of the camera, he brought it up to his face. “Okay, look into the lens. You don’t have to smile if you don’t want to. Turn your head a little bit to the right. Oh, your eyes are so beautiful.”

That made Shikadai smile and right as he did, Inojin snapped the picture.

“And your smile is beautiful as well”, Inojin said, sounding proud.

“Ugh”, Shikadai said. “I’m not good at this posing thing.”

“Just be yourself”, Inojin said. “There is power in one’s true self. Don’t fake yourself in front of the camera. Just show me who Shikadai Nara is.”

Shikadai relaxed a bit and sat less tensely on the stool. He looked into the camera and showed Inojin who he truly is.

When they were done with the photoshoot Inojin transferred the photos over to his computer and they looked through them together. At one point during the photo shoot, Inojin had put the camera on a stative so he could be in the frame as well.

Two boys who were so in love with each other do not just pose with content smiles in front of a camera.

They kiss. They look at each other with _that fond smile_ on their lips. They goof around. They kiss some more as the flash from the camera rained upon them.

“These are so good”, Inojin said as he clicked through the photos, first the portraits of Shikadai and then the series of couple photos after. “Oh, look at this one. God, you are cute in this one.”

“Hey, look at _you_ in this one”, Shikadai said after they looked at the following photo.

“We are both so good looking”, Inojin stated and Shikadai snorted.

“You are cuter.”

“No, _you_ are cuter”, Inojin responded. “Hey, can I make a series of these and put on my Instagram? Are you okay with it?”

Shikadai fell silent as he looked at their pictures, photos where they kissed and behaved like lovebirds. Even the photos where they didn’t kiss showed very deliberately that they had burning, sparkling feelings for one another.

“After…” he said as he grabbed Inojin’s hand. “Tonight… after I have come out to my parents. Then… then you can put the photos up.”

Inojin squeezed his hand back.

“Thank you.”

Shikadai’s heart began beating harder at the thought of telling his parents, and his fidgety gaze pulled towards the half-done painting Inojin had up on the easel in the other corner of his room.

It was a painting of a sunrise, in beautiful red colours.

“Looks nice”, he said and pointed towards the canvas. “Is it from a photo?”

“No”, Inojin said and walked up to the canvas. “From my head. Memory.”

“I have never seen a sunrise like that”, Shikadai said and Inojin chuckled.

“Then you haven’t been looking close enough”, he said. “There is beauty everywhere in nature. I see it all around me. But most of all, I see them in the sky. In the sunrays, in the starlight. No matter if it’s cloudy, sunny, or stormy, the sky is always beautiful. Even when it’s raining.” Inojin looked out of the window. “And when the sky is at its most beautiful, I look really hard. I memorise. I memories the feelings the sky evokes in me. And I recreate. It’s almost the same with acting. I have a scene and I need to evoke feelings in the audience, through evoking feelings inside myself.”

Shikadai walked closer to him, until they were almost chest against chest. Shikadai was taller than Inojin and he dropped his chin, so his forehead rested against Inojin’s forehead.

“You are so artsy”, he said. “That’s what I like about you. You see beauty where I can’t.”

“You can learn”, Inojin said. “It’s really calming. Finding about your own feelings through art. It sure helped me when I was feeling very low when I was younger. Some people are good at numbers. Others are good at words. You are probably good at numbers and words. I am good at bringing together elements into art. Paintings, photography and acting. Those three things saved me.”

Shikadai took a step back at the mention of Inojin’s past and he looked once again down at Inojin’s arms. Somehow, he didn’t want to know how Inojin had felt at his lowest. It must have hurt so much.

“It was good you found art”, Shikadai just said.

“It was”, Inojin said and rose on his tiptoes to kiss Shikadai. “Come, let’s go down. Let’s get something to eat.”

Eating out in Inojin’s garden was amazing, among the flowers and scents.

This time Shikadai took his time to really look at the nature around him.

For the first time, he found beauty where he before had found none.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me forcing myself to not do To love and never let go references (no the nerve damage isn't one) bc oh boy there could be a ton of them, but I'm a good author trying to not hurt you hahaha


	7. One boy coming out

Shikadai did not come out to his parents the same night when he came home from Inojin. He still wanted more time to think about his strategy. Somehow, just marching up to them and smash the news into their hands felt wrong and he wasn’t sure he would be brave enough. He wasn’t like Inojin.

When he came home, he noticed how neither of his parents asked where he had been or who he had been with, they just smiled and welcomed him back. Shikadai wondered if they could smell the sweet scent of flowers and honey from the Yamanaka Residence, or if he was just hyperaware that he smelled like Inojin did.

He took a piece of his hair and brought it up to his nose, inhaling deeply.

The scent of flower and honey. Shikadai wanted this scent to linger on him forever, he wanted to sleep in Inojin’s clothes, he dreamt of having se –

Inojin was his _boyfriend_ now. _Boyfriend._ Not just crush. Not just friend. Someone he wanted to share something with. A day-to-day life. Any kind of life. His life.

Inojin’s words were on repeat inside Shikadai’s head, about how he uses art to bring his feelings to the world and Shikadai decided that this is the time when he will try to apply Inojin’s way into his life.

He walked out of his house the following day while his parents were working, and with decisive steps walked into the closest mall that had those big stores with everything from hammers to paper to food to bicycles in their assortment. He wasn’t brave enough to go a specialized art store, so this mainstream store had to suffice.

Shikadai’s steps turned a little less decisive the closer to the art section he got in this big store. He knew nothing about art, nothing about paint, colours or brushes.

His hands trailed the different shelves of brushes and tubes of acrylics.

“Are you in need of help?” a girl asked him after he stared at a set of acrylic paints he had in his hands like they were alien objects.

“I need to paint”, Shikadai just said. “Don’t know how. Do these colours work?”

The girl shot a smile to him, a gentle smile which was the total opposite of the sharpness in the curve of Inojin’s lips. Shikadai missed Inojin’s lips already.

“Let me help you pick”, the girl said and walked with Shikadai along the shelf.

In the end Shikadai walked home again with a plastic bag containing a stack of A3-sized papers made to be used with acrylics, a good set of colours and two different sizes of brushes.

At home he set up his canvas, the A3-sized paper, and poured black colour on a plate to use as a palette.

He was reflecting over his artwork-to-be for a moment, before dipping the brush in the black paint.

Shikadai was painting.

First, he brought the black colour around the paper in a silhouette of a human, from the chest up. Then he drew hair up in a bushy ponytail on the top of the head. His hand was almost shaking as the person on the picture manifested as himself, as Shikadai Nara. He dipped the brush into the green paint and drew eyes on himself.

It was definitely not as easy as it looked like, to make art, but Shikadai bit down on his tongue and chose the smaller brush to make his eyes look more than lifeless blobs.

He pressed the brush against the face of himself on the painting and stopped for a moment to regard which curve of his mouth he was going to draw. After thinking for a while, he chose to draw a smile on his face.

This was not a sad moment.

This was a happy moment.

The moment he finally will be free.

He cluttered the torso of the painting in black, leaving a quite big gap open on the chest. A gap in the shape of a heart.

Shikadai’s hand was almost shaking when he returned from washing the brush clean of the black. He pressed a little of the red colour onto his plate.

He painted a red stripe on the top of the heart.

Then he mixed yellow beside the red and mixed the colours; creating orange. He drew the next stripe.

And the next. And the next.

Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. And finally, purple.

He painted the Pride flag in the shape of his heart on his chest, surrounded by black colour.

When the painting was finished, Shikadai almost wanted to cry. This was art made by _him._ He had made art for the first time in forever, and the person in this painting was himself.

Himself coming out, truly, to himself. Finally.

He couldn’t but smile at the rainbow heart in his chest; both his real chest and the painted one. Carefully, he pressed his fingers against the paint to feel if it had dried. It had. Then it was time for the next step in his plan.

To show that painting to his parents.

He chose his moment carefully. His parents were sitting in front of the TV, checking out the news and weather, while scrolling through their social medias and checking in on friends, like they do when they have their lazy time.

Shikadai knew his mum would soon get up and go for a run, so he had to time this during said ‘lazy time’, to have them both there, ready to give him all of their attention.

He hid the A3 painting behind his back while walking sheepishly into the living room. His heart hammered in his chest, his throat had tightened so it felt like he couldn’t breathe, and he walked with shorter steps than usual.

Temari, the damn detective, noticed this immediately. She straightened her back in the sofa and put away her laptop.

“Hey, Shikadai”, she said and moved a little bit closer to the edge of the sofa, clearly hinting that Shikadai could sit down beside her if he felt like it. Shikadai was however still too tense to just sit down and he had still the painting with him. “Is everything okay?”

“I guess”, Shikadai said. Shikamaru had now shut off the TV to turn his whole focus towards his son. The sudden silence in the living room made Shikadai uncomfortable. “Um, I made this.”

He shoved the painting into Shikamaru’s arms and Temari rose from the sofa to walk over by Shikamaru’s side. Shikadai shifted his weight uneasily from one foot to the other, carefully looking at his parents as they studied the painting.

The silence was unnerving.

“Do you – do you like it?” Shikadai said when he felt like he had suffered enough of their silence.

“It’s beautiful”, Temari said, meeting his fleeting eyes. “This is supposed to be you, isn’t it?”

Shikadai nodded.

“Do you know what the rainbow colours are supposed to represent?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. His voice almost, _almost_ failed him.

“Yes”, Shikamaru said and Temari nodded to accompany him.

“Yeah, um, that sums it up”, Shikadai said. “I like boys. And it’s not a phase and I am not unsure or anything. This is who I am, and I hope you don’t think badly of me because of this. I, um, I am gay.”

His parents just regarded him with soft faces. Temari smiled gently to him.

“Do you want to sit down and talk about it?” she provided.

“Are you okay with it?” Shikadai asked and his voice came almost out as a snap.

“Oh, honey, you can’t think we would disprove you”, Temari said and moved back to the sofa, taking the painting out of Shikamaru’s hands. “Come here.”

Shikadai walked over to her and slumped down so it almost creaked in the frame of the couch. He looked down at his hands, not wanting to face the gazes of his parents in this vulnerable moment. Shikamaru sat down on his other side.

It was meant as a gentle act, of course, but it made Shikadai feel trapped between his parents. He didn’t do anything to it, however, only brought up one foot on the edge of the sofa and leaned his chin against his kneecap, hugging his leg.

His parents waited patiently for him to say something, and when they were greeted with silence Shikamaru looked at the painting again.

“Have you had these feelings for long?” he asked.

“A few years”, Shikadai said. “I’ve known it for a while.”

“And the Yodo girl?”

“I did it because she wanted!” Shikadai spluttered out. He did not want to be reminded of those dates, did not want to be reminded of a life hiding who he is. He pressed his forehead against his knee, trying to hide his face. “I was a coward and couldn’t say no. Ever since my first girlfriend ages back I felt so, so stressed out to meet a new girl and continue living as a straight boy because no one ever considered that I might not be one! Like, just because I once had a girlfriend when I was fucking fifteen, I can’t ever get a boy like I want because I already trapped myself.”

“Shikadai, I’m sorry we didn’t notice this before”, Shikamaru said. He took a deep breath and brought his hand around Shikadai’s shoulders. “All talk about you meeting a girl… I’m sorry. I didn’t know better.”

“It’s okay”, Shikadai said out of default. He sounded defeated.

“No, it’s not okay”, Shikamaru said and Shikadai held his breath, feeling his heart speed up. “I have made you feel stressed and insecure because I didn’t even consider thinking twice. And I’m sorry for that.”

Shikadai let himself lean against his dad, finding comfort against his warmth. That was the best reaction he could hope for.

“So, you are not mad at me?” he asked in a whisper.

“Why would we be mad at you?” Shikamaru asked.

“Because I am different”, Shikadai said. “Not wanting to have a wife, but a man instead.”

“You are you”, Temari said. “Everyone is different. And you are yourself in your own way.” She looked at the painting again, at the darkness around Shikadai’s beating rainbow heart. “Did you feel dark inside before opening up to us?”

Shikadai nodded.

“I felt so trapped”, he whispered, feeling how his eyes turned wet of incoming tears, and Temari rubbed his arm.

“Oh, my boy”, she said. “Everything is okay. We’re not disappointed in you. We would never be.”

“Your mum is right”, Shikamaru said. “We are not disappointed. We are happy you finally felt brave enough to tell us.”

Shikadai smiled against his kneecap and before he knew it a small pathetic sob made its way out of his throat. Oh, great – crying was the last thing he wanted. But he was _so relieved._ His parents weren’t angry, weren’t disappointed, didn’t ask him if this was just a phase or tried to convince him he’d settle down with a girl after growing up.

His parents were silent as Shikadai rubbed his eyes.

“Do you want to put this up on the wall?” Temari asked and gently poked Shikadai with the corner of the painting.

“It’s not good enough”, Shikadai snorted. “Inojin would probably find at least ten mistakes in it.” Right after he had mentioned Inojin both Temari and Shikamaru looked at him in a specific way. Of course they noticed the way his tone in his voice changed when he spoke of the boy his hear beat so fast for.

“Do you and Inojin have a thing going on?” Temari asked gently. She knew it, obviously, but wanted to let Shikadai tell her.

Shikadai nodded.

“We, um, yesterday we became boyfriends”, he said, the words barely coming out of his throat. How could Inojin have been so vocal about coming out, snarling to his parents like the drama queen he was, while Shikadai’s throat tightened to a knot every time he just opened his mouth? “I met him a few weeks ago and instantly became interested in him and then suddenly I realised I like him very much.”

“You knew you were gay before you met him?” Shikamaru asked and Shikadai nodded.

“Yes”, he said. “And he is as well. Or he likes boy. Me. Ugh, you know.”

That made his parents chuckle at Shikadai fumbling for words.

“He can come to us if you want”, Temari said. “We’ve met him before, but it would be an honour to meet him as your boyfriend.”

Shikadai felt like his cheeks would burst from smiling. This felt like a milestone amidst all the other things he had let off his chest.

“Now?” he asked.

“Well, why not”, Shikamaru said and Shikadai bounced up from the sofa, phone in hand quick as lightning.

His chest felt light and fluttery as he dialled Inojin’s number and pressed the phone against his ear. He ran into his room and slammed the door shut, just because he was so excited and didn’t think of the pressure he put on the door.

Temari usually hated slamming in doors and Shikadai half-expected her to rush into his room and scold him, but she never came.

“Hi”, Inojin answered in the phone.

“Hey, babe”, Shikadai said, the lover’s name he had never used before just slipping out of him before he had time to stop himself. He felt his heart miss a beat at the realisation, but he chose to not address it. Inojin did it for him.

“Babe? Aws, am I your babe now?” Inojin almost purred on the other side of the line. “Why, thank you.”

“Heh, yeah, maybe you are my babe”, Shikadai mumbled in the phone, feeling hotness cover his entire face. “Listen, I, um, I came out to my parents just now and –“

He could hear how Inojin shuffled on his side of the phone, probably to sit up straighter or sit up at all.

“How did it go?” he interrupted and there was worry in his voice.

“Very good”, Shikadai said. “Like… I’m so happy now. They didn’t have anything against it, nothing! And mum said you can come over if you want. And we can probably hold hands and all that…”

He felt so giggly at the thought of holding Inojin’s hand in front of everyone, wanting to show the entire world _how beautiful my boyfriend is, isn’t he the best?_

“I’ll be there within an hour”, Inojin said. “Let me check when the next bus comes, I think it’ll leave in ten.”

“Am I disturbing something you were doing?” Shikadai asked and his heart wished for Inojin to say no.

“No, you’re not”, Inojin said. “I was drawing, but I can just put it on hold, it’s no biggie. _You_ are what is important now, wow, you came out! How does it feel to be out?”

“I don’t know, it feels great”, Shikadai said in the phone. He heard the sound of the wonky stairs in the Yamanaka’s household through the phone. Inojin was walking down them.

“Amazing”, Inojin said and then moved the phone a little bit away from his face. “Mum! Dad! I’m going away for a while. I’m going home to Shikadai.”

Shikadai’s heart almost froze when he heard a woman’s voice respond.

“When are we going to meet him then?” someone who had to be Inojin’s mum asked.

“I don’t know, soon”, Inojin said. “I’m going over to his place. Bye!” He walked out of the door. “Are you still there? I’m coming soon. Babe.” If tones of voices could smile, Inojin’s voice would.

“See you soon”, Shikadai said and they ended the phone call.

And after pacing around in the house, being too eager to focus on anything, Inojin stepped inside their house and stopped Shikadai from going mad out of excitement.

“Hi”, Inojin said and Shikadai closed his arms around him. “Are you out and proud now?”

“I don’t know about proud but I’m happy”, Shikadai whispered against Inojin’s hair, before pulling away only to bring Inojin’s face up to his lips.

Shikamaru and Temari waited in the living room, giving the boys space in the hall. They were not looking. Maybe eavesdropping, but not anything intrusive. They were just waiting until the boys were ready.

Shikadai and Inojin kissed a few careful kisses in the hall, feeling free and happy to not have to hide or feel ashamed of their feelings. And finally, after looking each other in the eyes and feeling love rushing through their hearts, Shikadai took Inojin’s hand. They walked into the living room.

It had all happened so fast – the weeks from the drunken night and the fast-food incident had gone from careful wondering about the other boy to mad butterflies and the will, need and drive to kiss and to bring your hands over the other one’s body.

It had been an instant love connection, like lightning.

Inojin waltzed without any problems into the living room, waving his free hand and flashing his metal smile to Shikadai’s parents like he had never experienced shame in the world. Shikadai admired that. Shikadai loved that.

They drank tea together, chit-chatting about everything and generally had a good time. Then someone knocked on the door.

“Who might that be?” Temari muttered as she placed her empty teacup down and rose from the sofa to open the door for the uninvited guests. Shikamaru quirked his eyebrows upwards, also wondering who might have business with them this evening.

“Hello”, Yoshino’s strong voice called out in the hall after the door opened. “We bought some strawberries and thought of giving some of them you.”

“Five litres”, Shikaku added, not giving space for a single second of silence after Yoshino was done talking. “I told her to not buy that many, because we don’t need a whole carton box full of strawberries, but do you think she listened? Nah, not Yoshino.”

“Hey, you know how much Shikadai loves strawberries, why would we buy just for us when we could buy for the whole family _and_ our grandson, huh?” Yoshino responded. “It’s called sharing and caring, Shikaku.”

Shikadai swallowed in the couch. Coming out to parents had been one big step, and to immediately just broaden the amount of people knowing who he is felt scary for a second. Inojin sat beside him, very close, too close for just friends.

“Grandparents?” Inojin mouthed to Shikadai.

“Dad’s parents”, Shikadai whispered back, while Shikamaru groaned as he rose up from the couch he had been sitting quite comfortably in.

“Oh, hello”, Shikamaru said after he had gone into the hall. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“There is nothing to expect, we’re family, of course we come and go”, Yoshino said as Shikadai hear her removing her shoes. Yup, she anticipated to stay for coffee. Typical grandmother and grandfather move, just stomping in without announcing and sit down in the living room just like that. They had done that so many times before it should not even surprise him.

Then Shikadai heard Temari open her mouth.

“We got someone special here visiting.”

The mortified look in Shikadai’s eyes was not reflected in Inojin’s eyes. If not, he seemed rather pleased at being called ‘special’.

“Oh, who is it?” Shikaku asked.

“Shikadai, will you come here and tell who you have visiting?” Temari called to him. Shikadai closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt Inojin taking his hand, squeezing it.

“Is it a girl?” Yoshino asked. “Has he finally found a girlfriend?”

Shikadai decided to get up and walk over to the hall. Inojin remained in the living room, not visible from the hall.

“Hi grandma”, he said.

“There he is!” Yoshino said and enclosed him in a hug. Shikadai hugged back. “How are you, my dear? We brought you strawberries.”

“Thank you”, Shikadai said and looked down at the delicious berries.

“Weeeell”, Yoshino said, a playful glint in her eye present. “Tell me who you’ve got visiting. Someone special? Let me see her.”

“Well, um”, Shikadai said, his cheek burning hot. “Inojin?”

Inojin walked into the hall, a pleased smile on his lips and a charming glister in his eyes. He strutted like this wasn’t a ground-breaking moment and grabbed Shikadai’s hand securely in his own. Shikadai didn’t dare to look up into his grandparents’ eyes, but he smiled at the gesture Inojin showed him and the world.

They belong together.

“Hello”, Inojin said. “I’m Inojin, Shikadai’s boyfriend.”

There were two nerve-racking seconds of silence.

“Boyfriend?” Shikaku repeated. “Oh, this was new. Very well, if Shikadai chose you and is happy, then welcome to the Nara family, Inojin. My name is Shikaku, I’m Shikadai’s granddad.”

Shikadai let out a tense breath. He looked up at his grandfather.

“I’m in love with him.” The words just slipped out of him, but he felt no shame anymore.

“Well, he is a handsome boy, isn’t he?” Yoshino said and Inojin puffed out his chest like a rooster at hearing he is handsome. “I am Yoshino. Do you like strawberries, Inojin?”

“ _If_ I like strawberries”, Inojin almost yelled, since he never had any idea how loud his voice could be.

“We got five litres here, there’s enough for everyone”, Shikaku added. “We also brought whipped cream.”

“Temari, put more coffee in the pan”, Shikamaru said.

“I’m not your maid, put on coffee for your parents yourself”, Temari snorted and Shikamaru sighed while sauntering into the kitchen.

Shikadai and Inojin sat side by side in the sofa, being regarded as an actual couple by Shikaku and Yoshino. They ate strawberries and Inojin got once again a little drop of cream stuck by the side of his mouth after not so skilfully trying to eat two huge strawberries dipped in cream at once.

This time Shikadai raised his hand and wiped the cream off Inojin’s face.

And Inojin was welcomed into the Nara family with love.

It was the most liberating feeling in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I will always write accepting, loving parents, until my dying day 🥰
> 
> He is out, guys, finally!
> 
> And I hope all of you, who has ever come out at some point, got just as heartwarming reception to it.


	8. Two boys and earthly pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read, I'll let you know; they have sex in this chapter. So, cw: explicit sexual content, oral sex.
> 
> (The boys are 19 years old here)

That scent of flowers and honey was the most wonderful scent in the world. Shikadai was laying in Inojin’s bed, leaning against the wall and Inojin sat in his lap, playing with his phone. Since the meeting with Shikadai’s parents and grandparents had been a great experience, Shikadai had given Inojin permission to post some of the photos from the photo session they had had earlier. Four different photographs, all in black and white.

One with only Shikadai, smiling apologetically to the camera, and three where Inojin had accompanied him. One where Inojin kiss him on the cheek, one where they have their temples connected and the final one where they were kissing on the mouth.

Shikadai wasn’t too comfortable with displaying their still very new affection in public, but Inojin was so excited and willing to show the entire world who he was in love with, and Inojin was impatient as a child when it came to posting the photos. He had them up now in the post on his phone, ready to press ‘upload’.

“I want to write the caption”, Shikadai said. “Make sure you don’t write some lovey-dovey shit.”

Inojin laughed.

“Sure thing, fun police”, he said and gave his phone to Shikadai, who typed down a caption. When Inojin retrieved the phone he almost burst out laughing. “’Making sure _I_ won’t write some lovey-dovey shit’? Oh, babe, what is sweet as sugar if not this?”

The caption Shikadai had written was, true to Inojin’s word, absolutely adorable.

_He lights my whole world up <3_

“Fine, _fine_ , I am a love fool then”, Shikadai said and hugged Inojin harder in his lap. He kissed Inojin’s neck, buried his nose among blonde curls, smelling that wonderful scent of flowers and honey.

“I love when you do that”, Inojin murmured and Shikadai continued kissing sweetly tasting skin below Inojin’s hair. “The pictures are up now.”

Inojin threw his phone somewhere in the pile of bedsheets on the floor and twisted around so he was facing Shikadai instead. He placed small kisses on Shikadai’s nose and cheeks, and finally on the mouth.

Shikadai brought up his hands to firmly hold Inojin’s sides, and after a while of kissing, he let them slip in under Inojin’s shirt.

Fingertips felt baby-smooth, warm skin and visible ribs. Inojin was almost underweight, but when Shikadai’s fingers grazed over his stomach he felt hard abs under the skin.

_A dancer’s body._

When Shikadai moved his hands downwards to snake them out of Inojin’s shirt, he accidentally touched Inojin’s bulge and, through the fabric of Inojin’s shorts, was greeted with something warm and hard.

He quickly put his hand down.

“Ah, you were going straight to the point”, Inojin snickered against Shikadai’s lips. Inojin moved his own hand from the backside of Shikadai’s head and placed it gently right on Shikadai’s crotch, on the growing bulge.

Electrical shockwaves ran from Shikadai’s crotch in every direction and blood pulsated even harder into his penis. The touch of Inojin’s was light and soon enough his fingers found their way under Shikadai’s shirt.

Inojin’s hands moved up over Shikadai’s chest and prompted Shikadai to remove his shirt. Together, in a smooth motion, they let the shirt slide over Shikadai’s head, almost messing up his ponytail. Inojin threw it to the corner of his room.

He looked down at Shikadai’s naked chest, before catching Shikadai’s eyes.

“Let me make you feel”, Inojin whispered and Shikadai leaned his head back, slowly closing his eyes, ready to surrender completely to the boy who had his heart.

“Do me”, he whispered back, almost as in a plea.

Shikadai hadn’t have sex before, always slithered out of any situation a girl during a party had began touching him at his butt or chest. At one point he thought he would never get to feel sex the way he wanted, or that he would never get to have sex at all, because he would forever be trapped in a false heterosexuality.

And now he didn’t have to be trapped anymore. He could just surrender and let Inojin give him the most primal blissful pleasure there is.

“Good boy”, Inojin said and gently kissed each of Shikadai’s closed eyelids. “Don’t think of anything else than what you feel. Feel my hands and lips.”

Shikadai nodded and trusted in Inojin.

Inojin began caressing Shikadai’s chest. Smooth fingertips trailed his Adam’s apple and collarbones, down to the chest. His fingers found Shikadai’s nipples and when he gently touched them Shikadai shuddered, letting a tiny breath escape.

“Do you like it?” Inojin asked.

“Keep doing it”, Shikadai whispered and Inojin obeyed.

He let his fingertips press down on Shikadai’s nipples – massaging them, teasing them, and smiled when he felt them harden under his fingers. He reached down, hands still occupied by touching Shikadai’s nipples and kissed Shikadai’s neck, first gently, then roughly. He bit the side of Shikadai’s neck, enjoying hearing the moan coming from the other boy, and then Inojin began sucking on Shikadai’s skin.

An almost purple bruise appeared under the skin and Inojin loved seeing the love bite on Shikadai’s neck.

He licked the hickey and let his tongue run down Shikadai’s neck and down to his chest. Inojin closed his mouth around Shikadai’s nipple, tongue completely occupied by moving over and around the hardened nipple.

Shikadai grabbed the bedsheet with his hands, before lifting his hands to firmly – roughly – grab Inojin’s shoulders. His fingernails dug into Inojin’s skin, causing claw marks, but Inojin had no intention of stopping teasing the hell out of Shikadai.

It felt so _good._ It sparked electricity and warmth all over in Shikadai’s body, and nowhere less than down in his cock. He wanted to be touched, so, so badly.

He was still wearing pants and Inojin noticed with just a quick glance that there was a noticeable lack of space in Shikadai’s pants. Better release him from the restraint. For a moment, Inojin let Shikadai’s chest be in peace and used both hands to drag Shikadai’s pants down his legs to throw them on the floor.

Shikadai shuddered at the new exposure, at him only wearing boxers in Inojin’s presence, but he managed to relax after Inojin’s wet, hot mouth reclaimed its place on top of his nipple.

“Oh my god”, he whispered and Inojin smiled against his skin.

He could now unhindered reach down between Shikadai’s legs and stroked his hand over the bulge to feel a little throb from Shikadai’s penis back. He almost chuckled at it and curved his fingers around the waistband of Shikadai’s boxers.

“Lift your butt”, Inojin said and Shikadai obeyed, lifting his hips so Inojin could remove his boxers unhindered, to reveal what was underneath. It felt nice, from having his cock to fight for space when he had his pants on, and now being able to stretch it all out. Inojin snickered at the sight of Shikadai’s penis. “It’s cute.”

Shikadai laughed, looking down at himself.

“And _that_ is the perfect word to describe it? You are impossible, Inojin.”

“Just lie down and relax, babe”, Inojin said. “I got you.”

“You got me”, Shikadai sighed back, a smile on his lips. Inojin already got his heart – and his sexual desires, at this point.

Inojin continued licking on Shikadai’s nipples, playing with them, teasing him, driving the boy almost mad, until his hands began stroking Shikadai’s cock, touching it, moving the foreskin up and down in a gentle movement.

His blue eyes flickered up towards Shikadai’s face, but Shikadai had his eyes closed, letting his body completely over to Inojin.

“You’ve had anyone suck you before?” Inojin asked, while playing around with Shikadai’s curly pubic hair. Shikadai’s eyes flung open, a sudden and strong blush covering his cheeks.

“No”, he just said. Inojin smiled.

“Allow me”, he said and lowered his head over Shikadai’s crotch to gently kiss the tip of his hardened penis.

Then he opened his mouth and let Shikadai’s penis slide into it.

Shikadai let out a startled noise, mostly because it felt so good for his cock to be covered in moist and spit.

And there had to magic in Inojin’s tongue, in the way he massaged Shikadai’s tip with his tongue and let it run over and around.

He let it take a good time, made sure Shikadai would have it as nice as possible. He reached one hand up to Shikadai’s chest and his fingers found his nipple, pressing down to give him pleasure even at that area. The other free hand held around the base of Shikadai’s cock, holding it in place while Inojin sucked on the tip as his lips moved around.

“Don’t – don’t stop”, Shikadai panted, writhing around under Inojin. It was impossible to just stay still, not with those electric thrills going around, not when he experienced pleasure _this amazing._ Inojin smiled at his words, moving away from his tip, and licked over his bellybutton.

“You like it, huh?”

“Continue”, Shikadai demanded between shallow breaths. Why did Inojin stop when it was feeling _so good?_

“Beg”, Inojin snickered with fingers twisting Shikadai’s pubic hair again, gently pulling it. He avoided touching Shikadai’s penis just to agitate him on purpose, enjoyed seeing the pulse in it make it throb, enjoyed following the blue trails of veins on it with his gaze.

“Aargh, just, ah, keep doing it!” Shikadai begged and Inojin touched him again at his most sensitive place, letting Shikadai get his way, letting his mouth embrace the tip and base again. He almost got a gagging reflex out of how deep he pressed Shikadai’s cock, but the moans of Shikadai made him keep going.

Shikadai grabbed Inojin’s hair, gripping around the strands. Inojin’s shoulders had already gotten their fair share of claw marks from earlier.

“Ah, ah”, Shikadai moaned when he felt the orgasm surge around deep inside him. “Inoj- Inojin, I’m coming.”

Inojin let his tongue make one final round before pulling away, pressing the penis upwards along Shikadai’s stomach at the same time as his cock did one final throb of pleasure as it released itself over his stomach.

Sticky sperm clung to his belly and chest as Inojin continued softly jerking him off to finalise the act.

“Oh my god”, Shikadai whispered when the orgasm faded into nothing. “Oh wow.” He propped himself on his elbows, looking down at the mess on his stomach. “And you didn’t care to swallow, huh?” He smiled to Inojin, who now looked away. He twiddled his own hair for a moment, as if trying to hide behind his bangs.

“Yeah, um, I panicked”, he chuckled nervously.

“Panicked?” Shikadai echoed. “What made you panic?”

“Um, since I haven’t swallowed before”, Inojin said apologetically. “This was my first time sucking someone, so – “

“First time?” Shikadai couldn’t believe it. Was this the first time Inojin had done magic with his mouth? “Your first time? But you were amazing.”

Inojin chuckled at the compliment.

“Thanks”, he said. “But yeah, I have never sucked anyone before. I just did… what I imagined felt good, I guess. Oh, it’s running now – “

The sperm has begun its journey of gravity and was slowly making its way down the side of Shikadai’s ribs.

“A paper towel, please?” Shikadai hissed as he pressed his arm against his side to prevent his semen from splotching down on Inojin’s bedsheet.

Inojin sprang to the bathroom and came back with the whole toilet paper roll. He ripped a few sheets and pressed them to Shikadai’s stomach.

“God, this is sticky”, Shikadai said as Inojin cleaned him up. He just observed Inojin being concentrated on his task, feeling something so powerful rise in his chest. Inojin had sucked him. Had been the closest of close of him, had given the most sacred of attention to him. “Thank you. That was so nice.”

Inojin lit up at the compliment.

“My pleasure”, he said. “Come to the shower? We could shower together.” There was a tease in his voice as he let his boxers slide down along his thighs and calves. Shikadai stared between Inojin’s legs and felt such desire to touch him there, to lick him there, to make him make the same noises he himself had made. The swelled veins shone blue against the pale, thin skin.

“Let’s go to the shower”, Shikadai said. “And I’ll make you squeal.”

Inojin winked at him.

“I’m not leaving the shower before you’ve done me”, he said and took Shikadai’s hand and guided him into their bathroom.

Inojin made a lot of noises Shikadai loved to hear. Shikadai loved licking Inojin’s skin under a stream of water, loved pinching him in places that made him squeal, loved giving him hickeys on visible places.

Shikadai sat on his knees and Inojin leaned against the cold shower tiles, barely finding strength to keep standing when it felt like Shikadai was sucking him dry.

With hands massaging Inojin’s rear Shikadai kept himself occupied with Inojin’s cock in his mouth, trying to imitate the same magic he got to experience. He didn’t care he sometimes snorted down water from the shower stream and it felt like he was drowning for a microsecond before his breathing evened out, or that his knees hurt from being pressed against the edges of the shower tiles, because the sound of Inojin almost yelling was the best thing Shikadai had ever heard. Oh, how he loved hearing that.

He could feel Inojin’s penis throb inside his mouth and this time he decided to keep going, keep going in unison with Inojin yelling _don’t stop, don’t stop!_ and Shikadai had barely time to smile at the words before he felt his mouth being filled with sticky, sweet mixed with salt-tasting sperm. He kept going until Inojin was ready.

Shikadai then pulled away and leant forward, opening his mouth to drool out Inojin’s sperm.

“Damn, that was good”, Inojin whispered and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He looked at Shikadai with a cheeky smile. “No swallowing for you either, huh?”

“I ‘panicked’”, Shikadai teased and Inojin splashed some water on Shikadai, before leaning forward to kiss Shikadai deeply on his mouth, getting a taste of himself through Shikadai’s mouth.

The kept kissing and teasing each other in the shower before the act turned into the actual act of cleaning themselves from various fluids. They lathered each other’s bodies with soap and let sperm wash away, everything during a happy mood and smiles on their lips.

They had barely time to come out of the shower before the outer door opened.

“Inojin?” a woman’s voice called out. It had to be Ino, Inojin’s mum.

“Hi”, Inojin yelled back as Shikadai skipped into Inojin’s room to find his clothes. “We’ll come down soon.”

“Is Shikadai here?” Ino asked, voice sounding delighted. She had probably awaited this moment, to meet Inojin’s new boyfriend she had heard so much about, and probably knew both from the fact that Shikadai’s shoes were in the hall and that Inojin had babbled a lot about him before, that he was here.

The Yamanaka family held few secrets hidden from each other. The morning after Inojin had met Shikadai the first time – there in the middle of the night he had looked Shikadai in the eyes and had felt his heart skip a beat as he asked for coffee from the boy he so badly wished would be gay, he had almost danced into the living room telling them he had met someone.

Ino and Sai had followed Inojin’s love grow from a tiny seed into a flaming crush in the span of a few weeks as well as they had listened to him ramble about Shikadai coming to watch his show. He had been so excited and happy.

So, it was no surprise they had known Shikadai would be here today.

“Where are my boxers?” Shikadai hissed as he roamed naked around in Inojin’s room in the search of them.

From downstairs they could hear Ino and Sai prepare something in the kitchen – putting a kettle on.

“I don’t know”, Inojin responded, in an equal stress of finding his own clothes. “Heck, where – oh there they are!”

It was clear as daylight what the couple had been doing when they got downstairs. Their hairs were still wet from the shower and both boys had hickeys sucked into their necks. Shikadai insisted on staring down at the floor, too embarrassed and a little shy to meet the eyes of Inojin’s parents.

He did not have to stare down at the floor for long.

Not when Inojin’s mum came immediately up to him and _hugged him._ Shikadai took a slight surprised breath before returning the hug, still a little bit taken aback by the sudden warmth and closeness from this woman he had never met before

“Welcome”, Ino said to Shikadai. She must smell the soap from their bathroom on Shikadai’s skin, she was so close. Ino pulled away and let Shikadai go. “It’s an honour to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Shikadai took a step back, and without knowing how to react, he settled to scratch the back of his neck.

The hickeys were so visible.

A man with dark hair was standing behind Ino and he gave Shikadai a friendly smile. Shikadai dared to smile back at Sai.

“Thank you”, he said, voice slightly faint.

“So, these are my parents”, Inojin said and waved in Ino and Sai’s direction. “They’re weird as hell, but so am I.”

Ino laughed at her son’s remark.

“How bold of you to call _us_ weird”, she pointed out with a warm glint in her eye, and Shikadai could imagine that was something Inojin had gotten to hear over the years, since he rolled his eyes dramatically at his mother.

“Since you just stomped inside bothering us, you better have a good reason”, Inojin muttered. He seemed a little embarrassed, standing there with red marks over his neck.

“We _live_ here”, Sai said, sounding confused. “Isn’t that a good reason for coming inside?”

Inojin slapped his hands dramatically against his forehead and Shikadai couldn’t but chuckle a bit at his reaction, because it was all purpose acting. Inojin was acting dramatic just because he wanted to, and that was so cute to watch.

Shikadai relaxed. He had been stressed and shy walking down the stairs, wishing he could maybe hide somewhere and avoid looking Inojin’s parents in their eyes, but now he felt all the tension slide off him.

“We put on tea”, Sai said, gesturing towards the kitchen. “We have some biscuits as well. Please, come and sit down.”

Shikadai and Inojin waddled side by side into the Yamanaka kitchen.

Inojin’s family will be a treat to spend time with – and maybe one day be part of.

He never wanted to forget this scent of flowers and honey.

The following morning, when he woke up in Inojin’s bed, there was a message in Shikadai’s inbox. He raised his eyes at Sarada’s name, wondering what she had to say about him. He opened her message and felt a cold shiver run down his spine as he stared at it.

Sarada _: Who is this?_

And connected to those three words was a screenshot of the fourth photo in the series Inojin had uploaded onto Instagram – the one where they kiss on the mouth.

Sarada had somehow found Inojin’s Instagram profile and seen the photo of Shikadai. Then Shikadai realised what was going on. Inojin had tagged him in the photo, and that made the picture pop up on Shikadai’s account for anyone to stalk. And Sarada was a master of stalking.

He could already see the scenario, how Sarada had gone through all of Inojin’s pictures, seen the ones where he showed his hurt of past depression and self-harm. He could only imagine the things she might think about Inojin, and sure it was his own mind racing up to dangerous speed – but the things swarming around in his head were all cruel. Every one of them.

_Oh no, she must think I’m a freak._

_Is she homophobic?_

_Oh shit, what will she think of Inojin?_

_Will they use his past against him and us?_

“What’s wrong?”

Inojin had lifted his head from the pillow, wondering why Shikadai had bolted from the bed when they had it so good, snuggled close. Shikadai would not believe it himself, that he had gotten up from a snuggling moment, if he didn’t have the phone in a firm grip in a hand almost shaking. Something that felt like a giant pulse below his diaphragm was beating through him.

“Um, nothing”, Shikadai mumbled before putting the phone down. Inojin looked at his hand, immediately locating the problem.

“What did you see?”

“Ugh, okay, I… like, my friends do not know about you”, Shikadai said. “And one of them saw the pictures you uploaded and asked me who you were. She knows about us now.”

Inojin tilted his head to the side as Shikadai handed the phone to him.

“I think I’ll just leave her hanging”, Shikadai said. “I don’t think it’s worth trying to explain – “

As he was talking Inojin had begun typing on Shikadai’s phone. He twisted his hand so Shikadai could look at what he had written before sending it back to Sarada.

_It’s my boyfriend. His name is Inojin._

“I can press send”, Inojin said. “Or I can delete it. You decide.”

Shikadai froze in place. So, this was the moment. He hadn’t yet decided how to come out to his friends and now a solution was presented right in front of him.

Shikadai swallowed.

“Press send”, he said and Inojin obeyed.

Let the whole world know. The encouraging smile from Inojin only made him feel safer in the situation.

Inojin had survived on his own in a school that didn’t accept him, surely Shikadai must survive with his own identity together with someone he loves.

Loves?

Let the whole world know he was in love. With a boy. And he was Shikadai Nara, the boy who had walked in his mother’s footsteps just because he was used to walk the road that was the easiest. But love doesn’t take the easy path.

“Inojin”, he said as he looked around in Inojin’s room. “Where is that giant Pride flag you own?”

“In my drawer”, Inojin said. “Why?”

Shikadai smirked.

“Just something I know you will like”, he said as he put his phone back into his pocket. A blue checkbox informed him that Sarada had read his message but hadn’t yet replied to it. It didn’t bother Shikadai that she hadn’t replied yet, and frankly, he couldn’t care less what she thought of his boyfriend.

Shikadai just had to care about what he himself thought of Inojin.

He wants to believe he loves Inojin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is the final chapter, and it is a long one! The first draft is over 5k and will probably be over 6k when all editing and stuff is done, yay.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this far!


	9. Two boys and the future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter ❤ Thank you all for reading, I really appreciate you.

“Okay, stand a little bit more to your left”, Inojin instructed Shikadai up on the rocky hill in the forest behind Inojin’s house. The pine trees around this giant rock were of a considerable distance from it, making the big boulder pop up in the scenery. The sky above them was blue, the sun lighting up the whole area.

It looked like the surroundings came straight out of a fairy-tale. The boulder covered in moss, the single rays of sunlight nestling their ways through the surrounding pine trees, the beauty of nature.

And on the boulder, Shikadai was standing, and in his hand, he held the giant Pride flag.

Shikadai took a step to the left.

“Good”, Inojin said and took a test picture with his camera. He looked at the image to compare settings and before deciding that the sharpness and depth of the picture was good enough for his critical taste on the photo. He looked up again. “I know a good pose for you. Look to your right, a little more – just like that! Your profile is so sexy, damn, keep it like that. Okay, where were I? Yes, keep it like that and raise your left arm.”

Shikadai raised his left arm with the Pride flag in it.

“Higher”, Inojin said. “You decide yourself if you want to smile or not. Just be yourself.”

“Is the flag visible?” Shikadai asked. That was the most important thing for him right now, the fact that all colours on the Pride flag would be visible on the photo. The last thing he wanted was people to just scroll past this image he was about to put up on Instagram and wonder which country’s flag he is holding up and why he was waving with that flag. He wanted the flag to pop, to tell the world – _Hey, look! This is me!_

“Yes, it is”, Inojin said. “Raise your hand higher we can see that you have it closed into a fist. Makes the message ring clearer. Great!”

He raised the camera to his face, ready to snap pictures of Shikadai, standing on top of the boulder with a Pride flag raised high above his head. There was such a contrast in the colours, something Inojin’s sense of art immediately was pleased about. Shikadai’s clothes were neutral in their colours – white and dark blue, which meant the rainbow flag popped up in an explosion of colours behind him against the murky green and brown of the forest further behind.

Like the gods of nature knew what type of photoshoot they were having, a gush of wind just the right strength passed them, making the flag stretch out its full length behind Shikadai.

Inojin had never pressed the shutter release button faster than when he saw the masterpiece that was going to be Shikadai’s way of coming out to the world. Maybe Inojin had rubbed himself off on Shikadai, making him secure in having a more extravagant coming out to everyone once and for all.

And Inojin would help him too in that process, by taking a picture of him with the Pride flag.

“I think I got it”, Inojin said, waving with his camera. “There are a few pictures that are… holy damn, these are so good.”

Shikadai jumped down from the boulder to peek over at the camera, looking at the picture of himself. He was facing the side, not looking into the camera, but his body was turned towards the viewer. He had one of his hands in his pocket, giving the impression that he didn’t give a damn about what other people might thing.

The other hand was raised in a fist, and that fist held the giant Pride flag, which by the help of wind was completely stretched out behind him.

“This looks almost like that scene from Les Misérables”, Inojin said. “Where they wave the flag of France in a revolution.”

“What is Les Misérables?” Shikadai asked, completely consumed by the images on the camera. Inojin was right – these were very fine photographs of him.

Inojin stared at him.

“Have you never – what? You don’t know what Les Misérables is?” he gasped.

“No?” Shikadai said. “Am I missing something out?”

“Yes!” Inojin pouted. “It’s one of the best musicals out there. We are so going to watch it one day, I will force you to see it.”

“Okay, whoa”, Shikadai said. “I trust you. If you say it’s good then, sure, we’ll watch it.”

“You will so cry”, Inojin said, sounding pleased, before he begun to hum one of the songs from said musical. “ _Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, it is the music of the people who will not be slaves again…”_

Shikadai just watched Inojin sing. It was such a pleasure to just take in everything that was Inojin Yamanaka, all the glory and extravaganza in his personality, but also the fragile inside, hiding behind a brave façade.

“I love hearing you sing”, he just murmured, just in time before Inojin turned his head to press his lips against Shikadai’s.

“Come, let’s go inside”, Inojin responded. “I have to edit the photo you choose before sending it to you.”

“I’ll snore in your bed for a while”, Shikadai said, and said plan was still accurate when they walked up the stairs into Inojin’s room. Inojin planted himself in front of his computer, where he transferred the files from the memory card of the camera.

Shikadai, on the other hand, threw himself onto Inojin’s bed and curled into a ball, hugging a pillow.

“I’ll nap for a while”, he said. “It’s so exhausting coming out, you see.”

“Was my flag heavy to carry?” Inojin snorted and spun around on his chair.

“Hehe, maybe”, Shikadai said, smiling against the pillow. “G’night.”

“Cutie”, Inojin said and spun back to the desk. He opened the right software and transferred the chosen photo to the software. He had a photograph to edit.

While Shikadai was dosing off in Inojin’s bed, occasionally opening his eyes and reaching a foot against the side of Inojin’s butt to get his attention and smile, Inojin edited the photograph.

“Babe, it’s done”, Inojin said when he had done the final editing. “Come and see.”

Shikadai made a drawled noise from the bottom of his throat, sat up in the bed and squinted his eyes at the laptop screen Inojin offered him.

The image almost took his breath away.

There he stood, tall and mighty, looking like he usually did, with the single detail of the giant Pride flag in all colours of the rainbow waving behind him with the mighty message. _I am gay. Let me show my Pride._

“Wow”, was the only thing Shikadai managed to say. “Just wow.” He reached to Inojin’s mouth, placing a kiss right on it. “Thank you so much.”

“I send this to your email”, Inojin said and within a minute Shikadai had said picture saved in his own images on his phone.

He opened the app Instagram, ready to upload the image. He didn’t need any filter – the picture was outstanding already thanks to Inojin’s editing, but when it came to writing a caption his hands fell still.

“What am I going to write?” he asked, a tiny knot in his stomach growing slightly bigger.

“If you don’t want to say anything you can just post the hearts in the colours of the rainbow and people will understand”, Inojin said.

“But I want to say something”, Shikadai pouted and wrote a caption. It went slow, since he deleted what he said all the time and rephrased his caption multiple times. Inojin didn’t interfere at all, let him work his thoughts out in peace. “How does this sound? ‘ _I won’t hide who I am anymore’_ and then there is the rainbow flag-emoji, ‘ _If anyone got a problem with that, unfollow me’._ Is it good?”

“Defensive, aren’t we?” Inojin asked with a voice filled with love and affection. He peeked over Shikadai’s shoulder to look at the caption. “It’s fine.”

“Do I sound defensive?” Shikadai mused, before deciding to delete the later half of his caption, leaving the first bit and the rainbow flag-emoji there. He smiled at his phone while his thumbs kept working until he had a new ending of the caption.

After the rainbow-emoji, there was a new line.

_Photo taken by my wonderful boyfriend, Inojin. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me so far._

“Aaaaws”, Inojin burst out. “That sounds perfect. Put it up, put it up!”

Shikadai held his breath as he pressed the upload-button.

“If I now keep my phone in my hand, I will keep staring at it and look if anyone likes the pic”, he said, before letting out an estranged chuckle. “This is so weird, I have never before given a damn if people like my things or not, or if I get comments or whatever, but now, when it’s, like, personal stuff, I can feel my pulse raise in my neck. Ugh, this is so weird.”

Inojin grabbed Shikadai’s phone out of his hand and placed it on his desk instead.

“Don’t look at it for a few hours, and you’ll feel that it’ll be easier”, he suggested. “ _We_ are now going downstairs to watch Les Misérables.”

“Really?” Shikadai didn’t sound amused.

“I can’t be together with someone who isn’t educated in the musical scene”, Inojin said, and Shikadai couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “Kidding of course, but we are going to watch it. It’s a fantastic film.”

Three hours later Shikadai was leaning in Inojin’s lap, having tears in his eyes as the ending of Les Misérables rolled around.

“That was…” Shikadai just mumbled, rubbing his eyes somewhat discreetly, to not show the whole Yamanaka family he was touched by the fates of the characters. Movie night with the whole family had apparently been a thing for the Yamanaka a long time, and when Inojin had put the movie on his parents had flocked around the tv without commenting. “Wow. What a story.”

The movie had barely begun when Ino had slid into the living room and just sat down in the armchair beside the sofa, not even commenting the movie or the way the boys were almost laying inside the same hoodie, snuggling close. A few moments after Sai had arrived, just as soundlessly, and squeezed himself by Ino’s side in the same armchair. Shikadai had eyed them carefully but chose to not mention it. They wanted probably to see a good movie as well. And if there was something Shikadai had learned about the Yamanaka family so far was that they did not give up on one another. They spent a lot of time together, and that was so different to how Shikadai had grown up, with two parents spending a lot of time at work. While he had grown up independent and sometimes on the verge of loneliness, Inojin hadn’t.

“I said it was one of the best musicals out there”, Inojin said, one of his hands buried in dark Nara hair, massaging the back of Shikadai’s neck.

“I really like it”, Sai said. “The music is good.”

“And the costumes”, Ino added.

Yes, it was one of the best musicals Shikadai had seen.

Later, when they walked into Inojin’s room again, Shikadai slumped down on Inojin’s bed.

“Do you often watch movies with your parents?” he asked, still thinking about the way Inojin’s parents had joined them in watching the movie. Inojin smiled apologetically.

“Um, yes”, he said. “It became very common for us when… when there was a time my parents didn’t want to leave me alone. Every day, when I didn’t have theatre rehearsals, they would ask if I wanted to see a movie. We have watched hundreds of movies over the span of me growing up.”

“Why didn’t they want you to be alone?” Shikadai asked.

Inojin touched his face, rubbed his hands over his nose, thinking.

“When I was cutting”, he just said. “I did it when I was alone. And they wanted to help me feel less alone and help me overcome it.”

Shikadai swallowed.

“I… I don’t know what to say”, he just said.

“You don’t have to say anything”, Inojin said, smiling. “Watching movies with my parents did help. It kept my mind busy. Sometimes my mum would sit beside me and hold my wrist so I couldn’t look down at it. Like this.” He placed one of his around the other wrist, covering the visible veins under the skin.

“For how long…?” Shikadai asked.

“It was ongoing for two years, on-off”, Inojin said. “And I’ve been clean for about two years now. Soon I’ll be clean for longer than me hurting myself.”

Shikadai draped Inojin into a hug, taking in a huge breath of the scent of Inojin’s hair. Today he smelled like strawberries.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you back then and could help you”, he whispered.

“It’s okay”, Inojin said back when their hug ended. He was silent for a while, mind working as his gaze drew itself towards one of his drawers. He took a deep breath and walked up to it, opened it. “I gave most of my razors to my parents, so they could throw them away. I gave a few to my friend Chocho so she could throw them away. It was a symbolic thing for me to give them to others, so they could make sure I didn’t get my hands on them again. But I kept one.” He snaked his hand into the backside of his drawer and took out everything inside. After emptying the drawers, he stuck his nails into the corners of the bottom of the drawer and removed first layer of the bottom board of the drawer. He flipped the board and showed the underside of it – the hidden side – where he had taped a razor blade. It had been affectively hidden. No one could’ve ever had found it even if they searched.

Shikadai stared at the razor blade.

Inojin held it in his hand. Both boys looked at it, their eyes locked onto the sharp silver edge like magnets lock onto each other.

“I don’t know why I kept one”, Inojin said. “Maybe because it back then, I couldn’t really give them all up. Giving my razors away felt like giving away a part of who I was, at that time. So I kept one.”

He looked up at Shikadai.

“I haven’t used it since”, Inojin said and reached his hand forward. The razor was shining against the light from his bedroom lamp. “I want you to take it and throw it away.”

Shikadai had to just stare at him while he searched for the right words.

“Oh”, he just said, voice almost cracking as in a sob. He had not expected his voice to sound like that, and he almost cringed at it. “I mean… yes.”

Inojin flipped his hand on top of Shikadai’s, and he felt the sharp metal tip against his palm. He kept his eyes focused on Inojin, and in that moment a thousand memories flashed across Inojin’s blue eyes.

Painful memories.

Shikadai moved his hand away from Inojin’s, and he followed Inojin’s gaze, which was still focused on the razor in Shikadai’s hand.

Was this parting a difficult one for Inojin to make? To finally let go?

“Are you okay?” Shikadai asked when Inojin didn’t say anything for a while.

“I think so”, he said. “Feels just weird.”

“You are brave”, Shikadai said as he placed the razor in the outer pocket of his bag. “So, so brave.”

Inojin grinned to him, not wanting to discuss that issue any further.

“Hey, let’s check if you’ve gotten any likes on your grand coming out picture”, he said, changing the subject. Shikadai lit up at the idea, taking his phone off Inojin’s desk where it has been out of his reach while they were watching the movie.

“I’ve gotten notifications at least”, Shikadai whispered as he opened the app where he had published the photo, to stare at 152 hearts and 17 comments. He just stared at the numbers. He never got that many likes or comments. Most of the times the likes came from classmates or friends, but this time even less-known acquaintances, people he had met at camps or on parties never to meet again had liked his picture.

The comments were all positive. His cousin had commented something nice, both Boruto and Sarada had commented, and even Yodo, who still followed him on Instagram, had commented an encouraging comment.

_Glad you found yourself! All love from me._

Shikadai smiled.

Then there was a comment from a girl he never had met before.

_O M G!! I really get why Inojin is head over heels about you – this is a wonderful picture. Congrats on coming out! Lots of love from me. You should do more couple photoshoots together, damn you both won the lottery of good genes,_ followed by all emoji-hearts in different colours.

“Is this your friend?” Shikadai asked and showed the screen to Inojin.

“Oh god, yes”, Inojin said. “That is Chocho. She found you.”

“She followed me as well”, Shikadai stated and as he was in full investigation to look who else had commented and liked, Inojin lifted his own phone to his ear.

“Hey, you saw Shikadai’s pic”, he said in the phone and Shikadai looked up. Had he called Chocho? “Wanna come over? He is at my place right now, I’d like him to meet you.”

Shikadai could hear someone squeal on the other side of the line.

“Okay, bye”, Inojin said and shut the call. He smiled to Shikadai. “She lives just a few streets over, she’ll be here in no time.”

“Okay, cool, tell me more about her”, Shikadai prompted.

Inojin looked out of the window, and then towards the outer pocket of Shikadai’s bag, where the razor was.

“We were in the same class as younger”, he said. “We didn’t talk at all to each other at first. I thought she was annoying. And in return, she didn’t intervene with the bullying. She was afraid. But one day she stood up for me. Not in the way of her standing between me and the guy who was the worst, but in another way. She sat by me during lunch. I sat alone for the majority of that year, and then she just joined me like nothing had ever happened and began chatting with me.” Inojin smiled. “It meant the world to me. She’s been my best friend ever since. Never judged me, looked at boys together with me, she even came as company to the first Pride Parade I joined, she has cried with me…” He looked down at his arms. “All that stuff. I am forever grateful.”

Shikadai didn’t yet again know what to say.

“Inojin”, Ino called out from the ground floor. “Chocho is coming.”

“She was fast”, Inojin mumbled when a strong voice could be heard.

“Inojiiiin!” Chocho yelled.

“She’s here”, Inojin said and smiled. They walked down the stairs to greet a dark-skinned girl with a warm smile.

“Oh hi! My name is Chocho, you must be Shikadai”, she said, and her eyes were glistering of happiness.

Shikadai raised his hand in a wave.

“Yes, that is me”, he said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure is entirely my own”, Chocho said. “Can I hug you?” she then added. Shikadai quirked his eyebrows upward, but resumed to smiling and nodded.

“Fine”, he said and Chocho almost crushed him in her firm hug.

I’m so happy Inojin finally has a boyfriend”, she said. “He has whined over having been ‘love-depressed’ for years now – ”

“Hey”, Inojin interrupted, eyes slightly narrowed. When Shikadai was released from the hug, he tipped his head to the side to let it rest on Shikadai’s shoulder. “But yeah – I finally have someone I love.”

Shikadai’s heart fluttered at those words, but he couldn’t but agree.

He had also someone he loves right now.

Many days later Shikadai remembered the razor he carried in the outer pocket of his bag. When he remembered it, he walked down to the docks of their town, stood by the edge of the water and stared down.

He considered filming the process for Inojin, but in the end, chose to not.

He just took out the razor, held it in his palm and let it drop into the ocean. He followed the silver as far as he could before it disappeared into darkness.

In that moment, he had finally freed Inojin.

A summer went quickly by.

Inojin and Shikadai spend almost every day together, getting to learn the other one – every quirk and side, dedicated their time to learn every curve of the other one’s body. It was a blessing to walk hand in hand out in the streets, to give small kisses on the nose of the other one or sit on cafés together. They did visit Espresso House by the park more than once, but this time around they would kiss off the cream from the other one’s nose if it happened to stick to it.

They had a lot of sex during that summer, and oh – how wonderful it was to finally get to experience bodily pleasure in the way they wanted and in a way that suited them. Their moments consisted of a lot of experimenting, them being sweaty, noisy and aroused in their beds or showers or even once out in the forest behind Inojin’s house.

The sky was the limit, and what a beautiful sky it was.

Shikadai had first been reluctant to walk in the Pride Parade in the capital the next city over, thinking he didn’t belong with the people who attends such festivals, but Inojin had convinced him and bribed him with kisses and a promise to leave if Shikadai became uncomfortable.

Shikadai didn’t become uncomfortable by it.

With Inojin’s giant flag tied around his neck like a cape he walked hand in hand with him in the train, listening to the music blaring in front of them from the truck. He felt liberated. Happy.

They painted together. Inojin tried to teach Shikadai the basics of acrylics and in turn, Shikadai taught Inojin the basics of the online game he like to play. Shikadai would sit in the backroom of the tiny fast-food place and play cards with himself while Inojin was working, just keeping him silent company and drinking coffee with him during the more silent nights when the costumers were few.

The summer was magical, and it was all theirs to claim.

Nothing could stop them.

Not even the sky.

Sooner or later the sky turned darker, the forever sun of summer was seen less and less. It was time for Shikadai to move back to his university city, a three-hour train ride away from his hometown.

“Distance is going to suck”, Inojin sighed the final day Shikadai stayed in his hometown. It was a Sunday. On Monday his first class would roll around and he had to leave Sunday evening if he wanted to get in time on Monday. And besides, he had to go past the shop to get groceries since his fridge and freezer were empty, and log into his university account to download the Powerpoints in advance and tons of other boring things he did not want to do. The only thing he wanted to do was nestling close to Inojin and kiss his neck every morning and every day.

But he couldn’t. He had to go back there to continue study, and Inojin had his job here.

“It will”, Shikadai mumbled. He had packed his bags and the train would leave soon. “But I’ll call and text you every day. And I’ll come back next weekend.”

“Five days without kisses every week”, Inojin pouted.

“I know”, Shikadai said. “It’s going to suck so much.”

Inojin was silent as his fingers kept tracing circles on the backside of Shikadai’s hand. He didn’t look Shikadai up in his eyes when he snivelled slightly.

“I will miss you so much”, he said. “This summer has been the best. I haven’t felt this good like ever and… I don’t want you to go.”

Shikadai’s nose began running and he took a deep breath through his nose in a poor attempt to hide that fact.

“I don’t want to leave”, he replied, squeezing Inojin’s hand harder.

They were sitting in Shikadai’s bed, in his room he had already cleaned. His big bag was packed. Everything was prepared for his departure back to his university town, to the small apartment he was renting over there.

Prepared to spend a year in loneliness.

Yes, Shikadai had friends in his university, but those friends were almost exclusively drinking buddies and group project friends. There was a reason he had partied so much last year.

He had done it because he was lonely and the only way to get company was to get drunk.

And now, when holding Inojin’s hand, he realised he didn’t want to go back to that old pattern. He didn’t want to drink every week just to drown out his loneliness, which now will be even more prevalent when Inojin won’t be there with him.

“We can chat every night”, Shikadai began. His voice began shaking. “And I’ll send you a good morning text and then suddenly five days have passed, and I’ll be here in your arms again.” Talking became harder and harder for every word. “And then we’ll kiss away the five days’ debt…”

“And then you’ll leave again”, Inojin said.

“Stop reminding me”, Shikadai whispered. His gaze was pointed downwards. “God, this is so hard… I have to leave in fifteen minutes.”

Those fifteen minutes were spent kissing, hugging and making promises. They’d meet every weekend. Shikadai would come to his hometown or Inojin would come to his university town the weekends he didn’t have the nightshift.

They promised to send morning texts and sweet voice mails, but the more they promised the worser the feeling in their bellies ended up.

This was _so hard._ So hard to, after a summer of bliss, love and pleasure, move over to a distance relationship. Inojin followed Shikadai to the train station, never letting his hand go. He didn’t even hide his red, wet eyes.

The minute they spent hugging before Shikadai would step onto the train was the fastest minute in their lives. When they stood on the train platform, the hole in Shikadai’s chest just grew and grew in size. When leaving Inojin behind, it felt like leaving his heart behind.

“I’ll miss you”, Inojin whispered into Shikadai’s ear. “I’ll miss you so much.”

“I will miss you, too”, Shikadai replied and _damn it,_ now his tears came. “It’s only five days, we’ll make it.”

“Five days times thirty-seven for every week you are gone”, Inojin said.

“Please, don’t remind me”, Shikadai whimpered, trying to hold a sob inside.

It was not easy saying goodbye when you were in love. Shikadai looked over his shoulder. The train would leave any minute now.

“Babe, I have to go”, he whispered as he let his hand rest against Inojin’s cheek.

“I love you”, Inojin said.

It was the first time either of them had said those three words.

_I love you._

“I love you, too”, Shikadai said and pulled Inojin into a final, long wet kiss.

They didn’t care people on the platform stared at them, at the two boys crying and kissing.

“Goodbye”, Shikadai said and finally pulled away. Inojin waved at him as the door closed behind his back, and seconds after that, the train left.

One days of loneliness, of feeling empty.

Two days of yearning, of feeling like something – someone – is missing.

Three days of feeling a growing hole in their chests.

Four days of –

On Friday, just after Shikadai had come how from his lecture, someone knocked on the door. Shikadai had been laying in his bed with his laptop resting in his lap, staring at graphs of statistics and trying to begin a homework that had to be done.

University hadn’t any mercy on him and since he didn’t want to spend the weekend he was going to hang out with his boyfriend doing freaking homework, he had decided to chug through it as fast as possible.

His train would leave in two hours, which meant that he in a little bit more than five hours would get to kiss Inojin.

He counted the minutes – seconds.

When someone knocked on the door he didn’t even notice it first. He just assumed it was for the neighbour, as the resonance in their stairwell was extremely good. Every sound out there could be heard into the apartments.

Someone knocked again.

He grunted loudly, almost threw his cursed laptop off his lap and walked to the door. He opened it, ready to yell at the person knocking, because he was cranky over the stupid homework and he missed Inojin so much it hurt deep inside his belly.

This was only the first week of distance relationship – how the hell was he going to survive going back and forth for a year, or more.

Shikadai stared at Inojin standing on the other side of the door.

Without any more words Inojin threw himself into Shikadai’s embrace, kissing him like he never had before.

Shikadai didn’t question him, only kissed him hard back.

“Inojin”, he mumbled against Inojin’s lips. “Inojin, oh my god, I missed you. What are you doing here?”

“I came”, Inojin said. “I came for you.”

Shikadai pulled their lips apart, but let his forehead rest against Inojin’s.

“But why? Don’t you have work today?” he asked.

“No”, Inojin said, smiling. “I quitted.”

“You quitted?” Shikadai couldn’t believe it. “Why?”

“There is an acting school here in this city”, Inojin said, his blue eyes looking searchingly into Shikadai’s. “I called them and asked if there is any chance if I can enrol. Or well, maybe more or less begged. It turned out that they had one spot open and they were, how silly it sounds, willing to let me audition for it because I was a boy. They had almost no boys in that course and year. So, they sent a monologue and I recorded myself performing it. And they called back this morning and said they were impressed with me and if I want, I can join them. And I accepted it.”

“What…?” Shikadai breathed.

“That means I need to move here if I want to attend that school. I have to stay somewhere here in this city”, Inojin said, trying to sound innocent.

“Would you like to live here with me?” Shikadai asked, before looking down at the huge bag Inojin had by his side.

“If you let me”, Inojin whispered.

“Oh my god, yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” Shikadai let out in a happy cry. He hugged Inojin. “Yes, you can stay with me.”

Inojin smiled against his neck.

“I have to go back home tomorrow and pack some more”, he said. “I left all my painting stuff there.”

That made Shikadai laugh. Oh, his Inojin, how much he loved him.

Inojin had called the local acting school and begged to get a spot, and fate had listened to him. He was going to spend the entire year with Shikadai in this city. They didn’t have to have a distance relationship anymore.

They would get to live together, in the same apartment. They would be able to give all the kisses and hugs, get to argue over trivial matters in the house like whose time it was to do the dishes and get to watch as the walls slowly got filled with paintings and printed photographs of the couple.

They would tape the Pride flag above their dinner table, because Inojin found it important for him to have it there. He liked to openly display his identity.

They would ride the train back to their hometown to visit their parents and grandparents every second weekend, and the parents would in their turn come up to their town to visit them or to look at the first season of shows Inojin was a part of and they would give him yellow and blue roses as a thank for giving them a fantastic performance.

Shikadai had given him a deep red rose, a rose representing far more than just a simple thank you for the show.

And Shikadai would, during the mornings when he was slowly drinking his morning coffee and listening to Inojin scrolling his social medias under the warmth and safety of their thick bedcovers, look at the sunrise and take in the beauty of every single sunray reaching above the horizon. Because that was something Inojin had taught him.

To see beauty around him where he before found none.

And for every second Inojin was there by his side, sleeping in their bed, making dinner in their kitchen and chatting untiredly – be it talking about his days in the acting school, or where he wants to travel with Shikadai in the future, or just ranting about how he is tired of having his mouth ache from the braces when he got a power chain applied to them, or anything really, Shikadai never took the view of the sky for granted.

Imagine, before he knew Inojin he had never appreciated art, colours or beauty. He had use to have his blinders shut in his room for most of the time, he never went to watch plays or musicals, he consumed whatever mainstream media that was popular at the time. He would not stop on the walk home from his university lecture to look at the first flower bloom after winter or take a deeper breath to feel the smells of the nature around him. He would certainly not pick a flower from a meadow and stick it behind Inojin’s ear when they were out on a walk or climb up in trees for Inojin to take photos of him.

Inojin loved taking photos of him.

And finally, without having met Inojin, without being shown that it was okay to be different and belong to a sexual minority, he would never have surrendered to who he truly was and let the world know he was in love – and in a relationship with a boy.

This was all worth snuggling with Inojin in bed, kissing and lightly touching the other one, while whispering _I love you._

And it was certainly worth Inojin’s response, a response sending every time shivers down Shikadai’s back and making it tingle down there on him.

“To the sky and beyond.”

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can pry poetic metaphors about the sky from my cold, dead hands.
> 
> Happy ending!! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, I am superhappy to have finished this modern au project. It was superfun to dive into a different version of Shikadai and Inojin. Now I will go back to writing about them in the To love and never let go-series. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!
> 
> Where to find me:  
> twitter: majsasaurus  
> tumblr: unioncolours


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